Robes of a Muse

Born to Fly

2012-01-21T22:15:00.001+05:30

The special lecture by H.E. Dr. Abdul Kalam, to coincide with the
"2012 Trilingual Policy: of Sri Lanka

He spoke to us,
As he held our gaze.
I could feel what he said,
Because he meant everything.

I could feel that I was 'born to fly'
As he instilled belief in me again.
I realised that there are great things to achieve,
As I am a unique being.

He was humourous.
He spoke about serious things,
But he was not lecturing us.
He was simply giving us the wings,
Teaching us that our wings aren't clipped
And that we can, indeed fly.

I felt grounded and humble,
As he stood there,
A man of the world, a man of great knowledge,
Talking to us mostly, as a friend.

I know we will all fly,
Reach greater heights,
As we have been inspired,
Inspired to be a better person, an individual,
Finally, a unique Sri Lankan.

Written in appreciation of H.E. Dr. Abdul Kalam's special lecture conducted this evening, in Colombo, Sri Lanka.

The Amazing Friend

2012-01-19T20:30:00.000+05:30

Have you a friend who can make you smile without knowing you're having a bad day? Have you a friend who can shed light to you without knowing that your path is suddenly dark? Have you a friend who knows just the right time to hold an umbrella without knowing you're having a rainy day? I have one, and I thought of writing a few words about this amazing person!

She has this impressive ability to read and unread me. She knows my every smile and the rain clouds that hover over me. When we were just kids in school, we thought we were soul-mates; who knows, we probably are! She never fails to help me out without knowing I needed it.

Today as customary, I was reading one of her weekly articles. (Her weekly column can be found on her blog here) Suddenly I felt light at heart and I realised I could empathise with every single word she wrote. In that understanding, I realised she had given me an answer, I didn't even know I was searching for. To me, her weekly column has become a guide. A guide to solve my problems and sometimes, at times like this, a provider of answers to queries I knew not I had.

Is it not only her weekly columns that teach me and guide me. She has taught me quite a lot about life, be it by sitting silently with me, with the wind blowing through our hair and the sun blazing on our faces or by writing to me or even by recommending a book to read.

We realised at an early age that it is the little that we do that always means a lot. I am glad we realised this early on in life. When we studied together, I remember we found so much of depth in meaning in two texts we were studying at the time, MacBeth and Pride & Prejudice. To date, I can remember the lines to quote should I need to or even to crack a joke, and I know I can say the same of her, "coz he love'd thee well" (MacBeth).

I don't mean to brag about her, but I must say with time, I have come to appreciate beautiful friendships like this. As people walk in and out of your life but only some really understand you. Only a few, a very few people truly care about you.

The Splash

2012-01-14T17:44:00.000+05:30

I swallowed a rock I thought not I could.
I drowned in an ocean, that wasn't visible to me.
I stopped breathing, coz no air I could feel.
I stopped...I drowned...I died

The granite tied to my feet dragged me down,
I hit the bottom, I hear the 'thud'.
I let the air leave my lungs, because
I stopped...I drowned.. I died

Who'd have thought it would blast this way,
The words spoken, ignited my way.
I can only feel the darkness now,
As I stopped... I drowned... I died...

I realised I'm innocent

2012-01-11T20:21:00.000+05:30

I realised I'm innocent,
In that there are so many ugly things happening around me,
But I'm ignorant to those.

I realised I'm innocent,
Because there are so many backstabbers
But I see no use in that.

I realised I'm innocent
Because I don't meddle in other's dirty work
And my hands are clean.

I realised I'm innocent
Because my heart is pure
And I do no evil.

I realised I'm innocent
As I can sleep peacefully at night,
Without my dreams keeping me awake at night.

I realised I'm innocent,
Because I'm still like a child
And mean no harm to anyone.

I realised I'm innocent,
Because I want to live freely,
Walking my life's path.

Path to My Inner Being

2012-01-04T23:42:00.002+05:30

Life is like a rat race. That's a fact. This is what modern life is and it's made us in to rats!

I have been running in this race for far too long I felt, and I wanted out. I wanted out really bad. So I got out.

It was simple. It's shocking some would say; but I am happy. At least more than I was several months back. I am smiling again.

I decided that I need to take this 'time off' and rediscover myself. I missed who I was before this rat race started. I have been up to a bit of soul searching and have realised that I miss the spiritual side of myself. I miss the meditating, and that wonderful connection I had with my inner being. I miss the time I had to sit and read or even to get some proper sleep. I realised, we don't have to wait till we are old and grey to enjoy these things. These are some of life's most simple wonders that we fail to see, in our race to reach the top (or where ever it is that one intends to reach).

I'm back to being in love with my surroundings; with nature. I realised the rat race hadn't given me the time to enjoy it as much as I wanted. I stare at the clouds as they float over me. I stick my head out of the vehicle, to breathe in the fresh air (not in the City of course!) loving the feeling of the cool air wash over my face and taking with it all my worries. I am loving the fact that I can go on spontaneous trips, just to enjoy the countryside. I am blissful.

I have come to realise that I miss the silence that the City doesn't give. The humming of insects and the chirping of birds. I miss the whistle in the wind that can be heard only when you're truly listening. I miss the smell of the Earth, in its uniqueness from place to place. The richness of our nature, that we fail to see, because we don't stop running.

I miss being at home (not my house home) but completely within myself. I think I am starting to feel whole again after a long time.

I guess I am smelling the roses as I walk.

"Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it." Jacques Prevert

A Blurred 2011

2011-12-17T18:52:00.000+05:30

The year went by in a blur,
Didn't see the beginning, middle or the end.
Days went by with a moment's flutter
To see we round the year's bend.

I seemed to have driven at 100km/h
Because I don't seem to remember the spaces whizzing by.
But there were moments I stopped and climbed to the top of the tower
Because the clouds I could see with my eye.

The perfume of love was sprayed throughout
And I felt the sun's rays as I flew about.
Care for cheap perfume, I did not
Because I was walking, showing my way out.

Their Story

2011-12-09T19:41:00.001+05:30

It's not my story to tell. However, I have been privy to this for a few years now. I was shocked to say the least, when I got to know her story, their story.

The story's my friend's, her family's. To any outsider, even myself, they would fit in to the neatly worded "happy family" category. Or so the exterior did seem. But the insides of this happy family were crumbling.

It was the usual story of abuse towards the wife. The husband or my friend's father would have one too many to drink at home and would find sorry excuses to beat his wife. He would leave her with bad bruises after thrashing her around the house, screaming at her, throwing things at her if not her.

If only he stopped at that. He used to take his intoxicated anger on his children as well; pulling them by their hair, throwing them against the walls etc. My friend used to go through the worst of fits, with being flung down stairs and smashed against cupboards on top of the other abuse.

Even a call to a friend during an episode like this is life threatening. The father would come looking for her, even if she were to lock herself in the room. Her physical bruises weren't that visible but her mother wasn't that lucky.

What I found intriguing about this was that, their's is an educated family. Both parents are in respectable professions, and it really made me wonder why a man of with his background would do something like this to his loved ones and also why a lady of her nature would endure this.

However, this doesn't end like most of the other stories where the victims don't stand up. My friend took the courage to stand up to her father and made him sign a 'letter' when he was sober, stating that he will seek counselling and that he won't hurt his family again. This was before she was to go to the police and make a complaint and there after go to the Child Protection Authority. It was a tough decision for her and I respected her [and still do] very much. It was heart breaking for me to see her go through this and not be there during the worst of a series of situations and only help her sitting at a pc thousands of miles away in a different land. Unfortunately, the 'letter' didn't work, but she used another technique in the form of non-violent communication which has thus far worked for her, with her father's responses to her changing.

It has been a year now, and to this day I haven't heard her complain about his behaviour. So I guess, one can get lucky if they stand up and oppose or express their feelings.

This was originally written for the Beyond Borders blog. The post can be found here.

Your Message to the World Contest

2011-11-29T20:56:00.001+05:30

Not in the wildest of dreams would I have thought that waking up this morning, I'd be the recipient of a wonderful e-mail announcing that my entry to the Your Message to the World Contest had indeed won me the first place!

I was jubilant to say the least and bounced all the way to work! =) I must say that this wouldn't have been possible for all my lovely friends who encouraged me and supported me throughout the contest with their 'likes' via Facebook and comments.

This is the first contest of this nature that I entered, and I must thank Saurabh for informing me of this contest! :)

Beyond Borders: On the look out for ideas in Galle

2011-11-15T13:50:00.001+05:30

In the run up to the 2012 Galle Literary Festival in which Beyond Borders will be participating in two sessions, we decided to run down to Galle to gather some ideas for our dramas.

We didn't get up early in the morning, as is customary when going our of Colombo, to catch a bus. Rather we decided to go a little late and well late we did become. However, we managed to have a lovely bus ride to Galle, chilled, well rested and ready for action!

We spoke to youth residing both within the Galle Fort and outside, and were enlightened to a variety of issues that were unique to that area.

The youth we spoke to, between the ages of 16 and 20, mostly felt that their parents were not giving them the freedom they sought. This was the key issue, resonating the discussion throughout the time we spent in discussion with them. This when questioned, boiled down to external problems like the Western influence within the Fort. According to the children, the parents felt that they were unable to give too much freedom to their children because they might run astray. We realised the locals were experiencing a certain reverse culture clash. The group we spoke to felt that their parents were not like the 'cool' Colombo folk who gave their children ample freedom to engage in youth activities and social work. However, most of the youth were rational, citing the pros and cons of their parents' reasoning, but they wished that they had less restrictions on socialising.

Another problem that arose was on the topic of education. Like youth from most other places, the youth from Galle too felt that the education system does not allow them the best of opportunities to showcase their talents. They felt the current education system only made them 'bookish' and did not allow them the chance to engage in the sporting activities they are otherwise good at. We found that this is the same story everywhere. When the child comes to higher levels of education in school the parents want their children to prioritise on their education, keeping all other extra-curricular activities at bay.

Of course, the guys felt that they couldn't talk to the girls and that they were shy; but that was besides the point during the interactive session we had with these energetic youth.

The Galle Literary Festival will be held from the 18th to the 22nd of January 2012 and beyond Borders will be performing on the 20th and 21st of January.

This was originally written for the Beyond Borders blog. The original post can be found here.

Fuji Maru Marking the Global Youth

2011-11-15T09:32:00.001+05:30

It is once again thetime for the youth of Sri Lanka to be excited about the Ship for YouthProgramme! This annual event is organized by the Government of Japan and takesplace onboard a ship- M/S Fuji Maru. Year 2012 will mark the 24^th editionof this prestigious global youth programme.

Purpose of theprogramme

The purpose of the Ship for World Youth (SWY) programis to broaden the global view of the Japanese youths, to promote mutualunderstanding and friendship between Japanese and foreign youths as well as tocultivate the spirit of international cooperation and the competence topractice it. Furthermore this international programme is aimed at fostering theyouth with the capability of showing leadership in various areas in theinternational society.

One of the important characteristics of this programmeis that it aims at establishing networks and promotes joint activities amongyouth from around the world through providing, as the concrete and practicalopportunity, the cohabitation and the joint activity on the board of the"Ship for World Youth". The life onboard the ship is the epitome ofinternational society with the youth being exposed to a wide variety ofcultures and ideas. It is a window to a multicultural way of life.

Approximately 300 youth from Japan and from variousareas of the world live together onboard the ship and engage in variousmultilateral exchange activities such as studying and discussing common issuesfrom a global viewpoint whilst visiting the countries at which the Ship berths.

History of theProgramme

Going in to a little bit of history, thisinternational youth exchange program of the Cabinet Office of Japan originallystarted in 1959 when it was implemented under the “Japanese Youth GoodwillMission Program” which the then Prime Minister Kishi had proposed personally inorder to commemorate the marriage of H.M. the Emperor, who was at that time theCrown Prince.

In 1967, the “Japanese Youth Goodwill CruiseProgram” started as one of the projects to commemorate the Centennial of theMeiji Restoration. Both the “Japanese Youth Goodwill Mission Program” and the“Japanese Youth Goodwill Cruise Program” gave a great dreams and hope to theyouth of Japan since the Government would take the initiative to send the youthoverseas at a time when it was still very difficult for them to go aboard ontheir own.

Due to the recent expansion of the internationalrole of Japan and the remarkable advancement in internationalisation in variousfields all over the world, the improvement of the contents of internationalyouth exchange programs of the Cabinet Office has been found necessary in orderto cope with such a changing social environment. Firstly, therefore, in 1988 the“Japanese Youth Goodwill Cruise Program” was reorganized and upgraded to the“Ship for World Youth Program”. The main objective of the former program waschanged, so that the exchange between Japanese and foreign youth became one ofthe current main activities. The contents also became more academic through theintroduction of activities such as discussions and seminars.

Even though SWY has academic contents in its schedule,it does not limit itself to pure academics. The programme as a whole isknowledge gaining and the participating youth (PYs) are able to gain informationabout their peers and their countries in a variety of different activities suchas group discussions, games, volunteer activities and of course, during theirfree time! The more subject oriented course discussions provide theparticipating youth with the opportunity to enhance their knowledge with regardto subject oriented matters, for example the United Nations, the environment,Corporate Social Responsibility, multiculturalism etc.

The Ship for World Youth programme is definitely alife changing experience that leaves you wanting to return to the programme againand again!

The link to the published article can be found here.

Sharing my Message with the World

2011-11-15T09:27:00.001+05:30

Dear Friends,

I entered a competition where we an individuals get to spread our message to the world. My message has been entered in to this. You can contribute to the spread of this message by http://www.opptunity.com/ymtw-2011/2011/10/as-i-sit-by-the-window/ following the link and liking it or posting your comments on it.

Thank you! Help spread the word.

South Asian Good News Channel

2011-09-20T23:52:00.000+05:30

Have you notice there is something in common among headlinesfrom leading newspapers of our country? That is the negativity. The mainstream media is somehow focused more onthe negative news and goes the extra mile to spread them. They must be having theirreasons for doing so. The 'Good News' or the positive news somehow gets buried in the corners of the unimportantpages. In such a scenario all that is available to the general public is the negativenews. Being the most intelligent of species, the humans discuss these negativenews items be it during a coffee break at work, or at the college canteens.They even go to the extent of sharing it on social media sites such as Facebook,Twitter and Google+. This creates a vicious cycle where we humans, subconsciouslybreathe in the negativity and participate in spreading such negative news.Being aware of the negative happenings around is one thing and propagatingthem is another.

When being constantly bombarded by the media with negative news, we tend tocreate an image about things that makes us lose objectivity. We tend to giveless priority to the negative news when we encounter it on a daily basis.Therefore, issues such as corruption, harassment, malnutrition etc. all seem totake less importance in our daily lives.

Has it ever occurred to you that we are not told of the goodside of things occurring? We are not told of a politician who is truly workingtowards making the life of his people better. We do not come across news of howa Buddhist priest is coaching the volleyball team of this school after seeingthe enthusiasm of the students and due to the lack of teachers and coaches in arural village in Sri Lanka. We do not hear of the Navy transporting schoolchildren to school during the heavy rains. All these positive news get submergedin the mountain of negative news that flow to us via different news channels.This is simply because 'bad news' sells!

Clearly, this causes for a need for a source of Good News where good deedshappening around us are highlighted. This would act as positive stimulus to ourbrains to think about solutions, or to simply be inspired. It would make usbelieve that life is not all that bad and that there is hope. That there are indeedgood people around us and good things do really happen. The South Asian GoodNews Channel is a small step towards spreading positive news.

I am sure you are thinking as to why this news channel focuses only on SouthAsia? The seed of this idea - South Asian Good News Channel - was sown at theSAYC 2011 where delegates from the SAARC nations got together todiscuss real burning issues. We found that our nations and people had so muchin common. It was not only the history and culture - but the tastes, the likesand dislikes, our behavior, our take on issues was also very similar. At theend of the Conference, if was difficult to identify a Pakistani from an Indianand an Indian from a Sri Lankan. If such harmony exists at people level thenthis definitely needs to get highlighted. Pakistan is not India's enemy nor isAfghanistan Pakistan's. The media, to a certain extent, is over-emphasizing theconflicts and under-emphasizing the people-to-people harmony. The South AsianGood News Channel is our way of helping to highlight not only good thingshappening around us but also happening across the borders to foster regionalpeace among the South Asian nations.

At the end of the day when you are tired after a long day at work or frustratedby your irrational boss's unreasonable expectations - you can tune into theSouth Asian Good News Channel for your dose of inspiration or simply a drop ofhope.

To get the Good News from South Asia - subscribe to the Facebook page -http://www.facebook.com/SAGNChannel or the twitter handle http://www.facebook.com/SAGNChannel

Reactions to the Reach Out Project

2011-09-17T21:21:00.000+05:30

Several months back, I was asked by a few friends to come be a part of a network of young girls (and then some guys joined too!) who were working towards creating a safer space for women in Sri Lanka. Their initial work started in Colombo.

As part of 'reaching out' to society, the Reach Out bunch decided on using types of theater; and disruptive theater was singled out as one of the means to address this issue. We decided on having sessions of disruptive theater in the random bus on different bus routes, so that we spread the word to a variety of people commuting in public buses.

We also decided, disruptive theater in buses alone won't help. Public spaces where youth and women visit and spend time at were deemed equally important. This is where I was came into volunteer and be a subject of a scripted 'perversion'.

The actors were to go to Majestic City (MC) and act out a scene of guys perving and annoying a lone girl walking and window shopping. Two friends were to follow and randomly cat-call. Their basic motive was to be that of a normal pervert and annoy me. The experience was baffling, especially when I went up to people to ask for their help! Most of them just turned and walked away, leaving the victim (me) in distress! Alternatively, when I approached a lone guy whom I was randomly passing to help me, he actually stopped to help. He didn't say a single word, but he made sure to stand by till the two 'stalkers' went. I thanked him, because I did not expect him to help me as none of the others did so when previously approached.

I suppose I can easily say that I am generally a 'perv-magnet'. I attract all the wrong attention and get perved on quite often, be it touching, squeezing, rubbing on etc. on a normal day-to-day basis. So for me to actually go to a public space and act out reality had be on my nerves with something bordering on paranoia! I was skeptic and I was practically refusing to go up to strangers to ask for help. But the two other 'support' friends that were there, insisted that it needs to be done, at least for the project's sake. From this 'experiment' I realised my basic notion of other people not wanting to meddle in another's worries was correct. Then again I also came to realise, that not everyone is like that, and there is the odd person in society who will go out of his way to help someone in distress.

Thanks to this lovely project, my perceptions on people changed a bit and kudos to Shifani and Rushda for giving me this opportunity and to Himal and Naveen the two professional perverts!

You can access the Reach Out blog for more information on the project and also on the Beyond Borders site.

Extraordinary Bus Talk

2011-07-15T16:08:00.000+05:30

I was travelling home that night, after work and a meet up with a friend. It was around the usual time I am accustomed to traveling home and the generally uneventful ride too. I had my music on as I was feeling a little sleepy & tired. Half way in to my otherwise mundane ride home, I had to face, rather come across an unusual encounter.

I am sure those who travel in public transport are aware that one can come across many interesting conversations whilst travelling. However, much as I have been made to listen involuntary to many conversations, I have yet to come across a conversation as appalling as the one I heard that night.

A young man-I later learn he's 25 years old and is a dealer in furniture in Indibedda, Moratuwa- starts off by having loud conversations on the phone with a few of his friends. He, quite loudly at that, tells a friend that he's welcome to visit his house and enjoy a smoke should he wish to. He tells the place the cigarettes are hidden and where to smoke it so as to not be found by his parents. This stuck in my mind. As he kept getting numerous calls asking him where he is, he kept lying to those at the receiving end, stating that he's close by and would be there in a minute or two, when in fact he was more than half an hour away from his agreed meeting point.

The said young man then found an empty seat behind me and sat next to a school going boy. After a few more annoyingly loud conversations on the phone, he turned to the school kid and asked him in English what he was studying and what grade he was studying. This is where all the fun or should I say more appropriately, the shock begins!

I heard this conversation over the blaring radio to which I was content listening to. This young man strikes up his conversation with this school kid by asking what grade he is. Promptly the kid replies that he's studying in the Maths stream for his A/Ls. Further questions revealed that the kid was an Anandian, who was going home after tuition classes. The young man asked him some personal questions in to his family such as if he has any sisters and their age. This, is where my ears pricked up as I was concerned and rather stunned with the reply the school kid gave. Without any hesitation, the school kid replied with entire details. He has two elder sisters. One is 28 years old, the other, 24 years. The young man was interested in the latter of the two and inquired her details. She is working at the Seylan Bank, and luckily for that girl, this younger brother of her's didn't know the branch she was working in. This the young man found strange that the sibling didn't know further details. The young man then inquired in to further personal details such as the school kid's whereabouts. I couldn't believe my ears! The kid gave the exact location of his house. I almost fell off the seat in shock! The lady sitting next to me was fidgeting in the seat. I really wanted to turn around in my seat and tell the school kid that he should be insane to be telling total strangers about the whereabouts of his sisters. I wanted to tell him that as a woman and a sister, I would definitely be worried if I had a sibling like him, who rattles my personal details to total random strangers. I was sure glad that the kid didn't know the branch where the sister worked, because, had he known or told, I am sure that young man would have asked for her name etc.

I sincerely wished the conversation ended there. However, things weren't to be the way I, a by-standing listener to this conversation wanted it to be.

The young man proceeded to ask the school kid if he had a girl friend, to which he got an affirmative answer. He then proceeded to ask the kid if they had "sex" and if he liked "asses and legs". I swear my eyes were going to pop out! I couldn't believe it! He went on to say that he enjoyed having sex and liked asses very much. The young man told the kid that he should have as much sex as he can with the girlfriend. And this topic of conversation went on for a while. I should make it clear at this point that I have no objection with people talking about sex or sharing their thoughts about the opposite sex. However, I feel there's a place to do so and surely not in a bus for the entire bus load to hear! Or in this case, not to talk of women in such a manner when there are other girls /women around! I felt really aggravated. I wanted to turn around and tell them that I feel this is not the place to have such a conversation and certainly not within earshot of other women. I wanted to tell the two of them that they should be ashamed of themselves.

Fortunately or unfortunately-I don't know which- their topic of conversation changed. It then moved on to smoking. The schooling kid asked the young man whether he smoked. He said "yes, do you get the smell?" This was such a 'what the eff' remark to me! The young man asked the kid if he smoked. I couldn't hear the answer the kid gave, but I could guess the answer from the conversation that followed. The young man liked the answer and further encouraged the deed by asking if he had tried weed. When the kid's answer was negative, he was willing to introduce weed to him. I winced at what was going on. Again, I feel it's one thing for an individual to tread the wrong path, but to drag others along is unacceptable. Also, I felt really sorry for the kid. He was being stupid. I don't know whether he was trying to look 'cool' or what ever it is, but he was surely making a fool of himself.

By this time, we were in Katubedda. The young man was going to get off in Moratuwa. The school kid in a few halts, as he had told the young man that he lived in Katubedda. The young man then went on to advice him on how he should conduct himself in school. He told the kid that he shouldn't take any advice from the teachers, and that he should merely listen in class without answering any of the teachers' questions. He said, this method will get him through school. He further insisted on advising him on methods to pass his A/Ls, such as by doing past papers. At this point I wanted to turn around and ask the young man what authority he had to advice the school kid on getting through exams. But I refrained as I wasn't sure if it would be smart. But I didn't want to see a school kid go down the drain.

They both got off before I did, and I was in a mixture of emotions. I was shocked to an unbelievable height due to the school boy's reactions and total openness with a stranger, seething with anger as a sister and a woman in how we were discussed in public as if we are some 'creature' that should be enjoyed and discarded. I was ashamed for the two of them. I was shocked beyond words, utterly speechless because I couldn't believe I had heard this. I started questioning if my brother too would do something like this. When I told my brother this, he said he's not insane to talk with strangers in this manner. I think my shock has toned down a bit, but recalling that moment, I still can't fathom what I overheard.

Another Day

2011-06-07T21:54:00.000+05:30

The concern in her voice,

The helplessness in his,

The hurt and betrayal in another

Is what I came to see.

Anger in her voice

While I test her patience.

Making another scared,

While I cry out desperately.

I came to realise

All is not at end.

When looking around me

I will find the beginnings,

For another day!

*** I know I have not done justice to this poem in trying to express what I really want to and have to say. What I truly wanted to convey is that I'm grateful for all of you, who stood by me, during some very dark days, and helped bring the light back into my life. I'm eternally indebted for that!I also want all of you to know that your love and concern has touched me greatly and I truly hope that the light which is alive in m now will glow for many years to come.I want to say thank you and that I' truly touched by the love and that I'm lucky to have such supportive friends surrounding me!!

THANK YOU & LOVE YOU ALL!! ***

An old poem.

Malignant Growth

2011-06-07T21:48:00.000+05:30

This is what they call it; a canker that is. The layman probably might not know what this is. This growth, but we all know, it can be deadly if not treated on time.

I had to visit the cancer hospital in Maharagama the other day. No, it was not to make a generous contribution of something. I went to see a patient, my aunt. This is not the first time there. Once before I had to visit my uncle who received treatment for cancer and who later, passed away. Initially, going to the hospital was a bit-what can I say?-'weird'? I had heard so much about how depressing the place was from persons who had visited it before. Therefore I wasn't too keen on going. The only thing that did made me, was the wanting to see my uncle. This time, it was different. I knew the place wasn't bad as it's known to be. I now know the hundreds of people seeking treatment within get the best attention and medical treatment that can be given.

My uncle smoked tobacco and thus harmed himself to the point that one of his lungs started to liquefy. Yes, he was in pain in the latter stages of his life. It is this pain that got him to the hospital. Even though he was advised-medically- that quitting this habit could save his life, early on, he never listened. He continued to torture his already damaged lungs by smoking. From this I relearned some thing. That smoking does in fact kill people! It does not only cause growths inside a person, it also takes away part of the human, even the entire being, in the worst case scenario. My uncle's callousness in not following medical advice and continuing this bad habit, killed him-literally. This I would call, inflicting death upon oneself.

My aunt on the other hand, has a growth in her body, which she has had for the past so many years, I am told. She didn't know she had a growth in her until it caused her pain. Even then, she sought to take some pain killers and relieve it. She is to be operated and the growth areas are to be removed from her body. Let's see how that goes. What really worries me is that with all the modern day awareness that takes place with regard to cancer, she didn't attempt to get this 'pain' checked. We, as her family were shocked beyond words to hear that the cancer has been growing for so many years and without her knowledge.

I guess, this calls for more self awareness with regard to diseases such as cancer. We, as individuals need to keep check of ourselves, because it's us who will be suffering both physically and mentally if we are to go through something like this, and we also bring pain to those around, who love us.

I merely thought we should be aware of this 'growth' and go on to take the correct steps medically to help oneself and those who face the pain with us.

Haunting Memories

2011-06-07T21:42:00.000+05:30

The face I want to forget

is etched in my mind.

The words I want to forget
swim in my mind.

The voice I once longed to hear,
remains a memory in my mind.

The moments spent, keep haunting me,
as I try in vain to forget.

SAYC: a journey, a memory, a lesson, a family

2011-06-05T19:02:00.003+05:30

mus

I wanted to go to the 1st South Asian Youth Conference [SAYC] for several reasons. The foremost reason being my friend Ritu from India, who shared the programme with me, was applying for the same. The secondary reasons were to network with fellow South Asians, and then of course to relax. Little did I expect the programme to be so tightly packed with a variety of sessions that were physically challenging as well as mentally stimulating.

The lead up to the Conference was very chaotic. It had its ups and downs, but in the end there were six Sri Lankans who confirmed to participate.

I remember the journey only too well. Sitting at the Katunayake Airport talking to Chathu till we had to board the plane as if we were in either one's living room, walking around the Bangalore Airport as if it was home and we had not made plans to move out, getting on the shuttle bus that seemed like it was never going to reach its final destination, being dropped off in the middle of the road [literally] with no clue as to which side to go to, finally getting in to an auto that had no clue where we wanted to go and the auto driver asking us for directions [truly India you see], and then Chathu and I enjoying the view and nearly missing IIM-B because the auto walla [driver] had no clue where he was taking us. To have thought that was the end of our confusions was a big mistake. We, in our hearts of hearts thought now that we were safely inside the campus premises, things were going to be all right. However, it was not the case. Pulling our luggage out of the auto, we were met by Vaibhav, who directed us to the hostel block for registrations. This hostel block proved hard to find. Make that impossible. Trudging heavy luggage with us, ascending and descending countless flights of stairs to no gain was a heart breaker. It was in this state of lost-ness did we come upon Brijesh, who was equally lost. Little did I know that later on, we were going to be members of the same family!

26th May 2011-Times of India, Bangalore

After all the stress due to work, I was only too keen on having the best of times while at SAYC. However, I was put to test. I particularly remember one incident which occurred close to our arrival. A lady from The Times of India was interviewing participants from each of the SAARC countries, and I had the wonderful opportunity to speak to her. She asked me what brought me here and what I thought the youth could do to unify the region. I answered her without a beat. I said culture is the means to unify the region, as there are many cultural similarities in our region. Be it song and dance, the food or the dresses, one will see unique yet some similarities throughout. Incidentally, this was a topic Ritu and I had covered before and one of the reasons that I wanted to be at the Conference. This brief interview flicked a light in me. I realised that I had come here for a reason after all; and that reason was not to chill.

From then on, I made a conscious effort to listen and absorb as much as I could on not only the topic I was interested in, but also on other topics. I could not lie to myself or the others. I have not done much on environmental issues; therefore the topics covered with regard to them were sometime alien to me. However, I was able to pitch in, thanks to having many friends who are environmentalist, both here in Sri Lanka and elsewhere in the world.

I started to analyse what I really wanted to do. I started to question where my interests lie and what I was truly passionate about. It occurred to me that I was interested in many things. Be it the rights of humans or that of animals, governance issues in the country or cultural identity issues. I realized over the years, I have exposed myself to various burning issues; as a result, I was truly keen on them all. It made me tell myself, that I need to prioritise. That I need to walk a path, that one day, when I look back, I will have enjoyed, remembered and most importantly, not have regretted.

Of those participating at SAYC, I was not towards the younger end of the spectrum. I suppose I can safely say, I was in the middle; neither old nor the young. When interacting with some of the participants, some as young as 18 years of age, I realized the passion they had in what they were doing, and the early age at which they had started what they had. I was awe struck. In particular I have Kaushal from Nepal to thank. At a mere 18 years of age, he was striving to make his voice heard. He was keen on a number of different issues. Be it education, Buddhism or the environment. I remember sitting next to him during a session, and he randomly told me that the youth were not consulted when making their country’s constitution and that the constitution is yet to be passed, no matter how much it was pushed for by the people. At eighteen, I remember I was only interested in getting through to university, and I sat cramming my books to get the grades. I guess I feel life was wasted in a way. So much achieved by some at such a young age, made me wonder where I was heading.

I also realized that age is not a barrier, should you choose to walk a path you are absolutely sure about. It will not be a barrier, unless you let it! I was amazed by the number of youth that were gathered who were keen on becoming entrepreneurs. The only entrepreneur thought that crossed my mind was to set up my own PR Company, but then I realized my wings will have to be really strong should I choose to fly so high. Talking to some, I gathered that it is not important to work for someone for the sake of it, or to get the pay. If you love what you do and it is unconventional, it is all right to go solo and make what you love happen. For example, Manish had started to teach methods of organic farming to farmers in Bihar, India with his friend Shashank. It is not the usual job one would hear about, but if he did not attempt to break the barrier, who would have? Then there was Shreyaz, who was so passionate about becoming an entrepreneur, he would question each and every resource person that came, in an attempt to find answers to the burning questions he had, to take him on his journey. There were more, too many to named individually. I know I was not able to talk to each and everyone on a broad scale but I was truly dumbfounded.

My interest during the entire stay was looking at the cultural factor. True, it had me up at all odd hours of the night, talking and getting to know others, but I would not take back a single moment of it. As a result, I had the wonderful opportunity to make beautiful friendships with Bhutanis, Pakistanis and Bangladeshis; three countries I did not have a single friend from. However, thanks to the SAYC, I am now regionally connected. I am honoured to say that I have good friends from all eight South Asian countries, yes, even Sri Lanka.

My Family: SAMBHAV
pic courtesy of Puran Rasaily from Bhutan

During the Conference, I was reminded again that the Indians and Pakistanis maybe divided by a border line, but their cultures and language go beyond these superficial boundaries. In my “family” when the Indians would suddenly break in to Hindi and passionately talk about something, I did feel left out, but it was amazing to see the Nepali pitching in and then in turn translating to the Bhutani. It was then that I got to know that Nepalese and Bhutanese were mutually intelligible just like Hindi [India] and Urdu [Pakistan] are. Afghans too have no problem interacting with the Indians and Pakistanis. [All three languages have Persian roots.] It then got me thinking about the other South Asian countries. I realized that Sinhala [one of the official languages of Sri Lanka] cannot be understood by any of the nations, but we had the upper hand in understanding Hindi, due to the Sanskrit roots in the two languages. Tamil [the other official language in Sri Lanka] was understood by those present from Tamilnadu, but that was all. Dhivehi [Maldives] had the same problem. Since it was derived from Sinhala centuries ago, there were similar words, which I was able to understand. However, the crux of the language was lost to me. The Bangladeshis were understood by the Bengalis from India. Therefore, it struck me that this region which is home to many burning tensions, can solve its problems if the youth marched forward and made things happen. As for us youth, we do not see the political barriers. I am confident if youth headed the talks between India and Pakistan, there would not be any issue there today.

I realized that in music and dance we find commonalities. The Sri Lankan delegation sang Sasanda Sasanda during the cultural night and without understanding the song or knowing the meaning, our friends [we have become too close to say otherwise] started dancing around us. It opened my eyes! We were talking about a cart wheel which was turning on the road on its journey and here that was depicted by the circle that was formed.

I could go on and on, but I think it is sufficiant to say that if we put our minor differences apart and look at the similarities and strive to work together united, we, South Asia can stand so strong that we can be a power unknown till now. Here is wishing that this will one day come true. Moreover here is my promise that I will, in my little way, help to make this happen!

Thoughts from this side

2011-05-27T02:09:00.000+05:30

Frustrated I feel when they put me down,
As they be thinking that I am but none.
They tell me I am not 'good'
But I know I am better than 'good'.

They come to take credit for what I do,
Though they never come to help what I do.
They seek flowers for all the gold,
But they give me only the cold.

Written during the 1st South Asian Youth Conference 2011.

As I Sit by the Window.....

2011-05-14T14:33:00.002+05:30

As I sit by the window, I realised that my life moves on, just like the clock that ticks and the clouds that flow by. I realised that some times, I am the change I am looking for and that change is some times internal. It is something I have to make happen, as that change cannot otherwise, occur.

As I sit by the window, I realised, there are more things in life to worry about, more than the petty issues that do seem the world at the moment. I realised that I need to think big, and dream big, because nothing can stop that. I also realised, that whilst dreaming, I have to enjoy the present. Because, the present it is a lovely gift, wrapped in a not-so-good-looking wrapping paper at times, that I just have to deal with.

As I sit by the window, I realised, that the days will change and the moments too, just like the sun that passes behind a fluffy cloud, or the rain clouds that comes in. I realised that whether my days be rainy or sunny, I have to walk on, as life is not going to sit around waiting for me, but I have to keep abreast of life. I, and only I have the power to control my life.

As I sit by the window, I realised that I can fly, just like the birds outside. as I am not shackled in my imagination and thoughts. Even though I may be restricted in some ways, I realised that I have the power to overcome those obstacles and give myself wings to fly. I realised, it only takes a moment to see this.

As I sit by the window, I realised I am my greatest friend, and that I need to help myself grow from strength to strength, because if I do not help myself, no one will be able to do so. I realised I am my greatest source of happiness, as others will walk in and out of this home called life, but I will always remain with me.

A Month's Memories

2011-05-04T21:39:00.000+05:30

Are you pissed with me,
Coz you're not who you used to be.
What have I done,
Coz you are no more fun.

I miss talking to you throughout the day,
And listening to what you have to say.
I like your impatience and your immaturity,
Coz I know that's your idiosyncrasy.

I like how you wrinkle your face,
It be like a rabbit face.
Your eyes do twinkle with humour,
Which only proves I will have to take out my armour.

This was written sometime back. At the time, I thought it was badly written; now I feel otherwise. So, here I am sharing it.

Friends. Those Angels in Disguise

2011-05-01T18:46:00.002+05:30

I have heard people complain that they don't have good friends. I think one has to be real lucky to have a good friend. In my case, I think I am really blessed, because I have them in abundance. And I wouldn't trade a single one of them, as they all work their magic on me.

It's not that easy to find a good friend. I have come across people who say they are pure, but end up being darker than coal.

I am known to be chirpy. It's a character trait that has decided to come out from the darker more morose person I used to be several years back. However, when I do have a bad day, I know I am not alone. I have my own group of cheer leaders, who do exactly that, cheer me up! If not for them, I don't know what my moods would do to me.

I know I can't fool them. Be it with a fake smile to cover the sadness that lingers beneath or a fake laugh, pretending to enjoy the jokes around, when I am bleeding within. Sometimes, even without seeing me my friends are sure to read me. They will understand my monosyllabic language, sometimes, surprising even myself.

I guess this is my way of thanking them, the little angels in my life, that help me go through life's journey. Holding my hand when I am scared, hugging me when I am feeling down, being by my side when I need the encouragement and most importantly being there for me, sometimes invisible to me. But, being there for sure. Always.

So thank you my angels for being there and encouraging me, every step of the way.

You should know you're loved and appreciated! :)

Robes of a Muse's photostream

2011-04-22T19:35:00.002+05:30

Robes of a Muse's photostream on Flickr.

Hotels

2011-04-17T18:09:00.002+05:30

Hotels, a set on Flickr.

Scenaries

2011-04-17T18:08:00.002+05:30

Scenaries, a set on Flickr.

Flora

2011-04-17T18:07:00.004+05:30

Flora, a set on Flickr.

Robes of a Muse's photostream

2011-04-17T18:07:00.001+05:30

Robes of a Muse's photostream on Flickr.

Back in time to 'December'

2011-03-01T17:32:00.003+05:30

Thinking back to Decembers,

I remember you.

Not of a single year,

But a few.

I remember how I liked you,

Your music conquering my heart.

The next was you,

Coz of the melodies you sang.

One year I loved you,

The next, you.

Now I love you

Simply coz you are you.

There are no melodies in you,

This is a change.

I don't know what this year will bring

But I sure do love the change!

Recollection of a few Decembers after listening to Taylor Swift's 'Back to December'.

Memories from Ship for World Youth

2011-01-26T20:01:00.003+05:30

Tell me will I be normal again?

Looking around me, I fail to realise what I see.
I wonder if I am back, or if this is only a dream.
I try to understand what these feelings are,
If they are mine or from a fairytale.

I fail to understand what reality is.
I seem to float about, and
I am told I am distant.
I wonder what it is that I feel.
Jet lag, they tell me,
Ship sick some say.
I see many faces around me,
But fail to put a name on them.

At night I dream of scores of faces,
Living parts of the dream we shared together.
The mornings are the worst,
As I have to face the inevitable world!

I feel like I am in dreamland or a fairytale
As you please.
I fail to realise what normalcy is,
Or what it use to be.

Tell me will I be normal again?Will I ever be me?
These are some questions I ask,
Unable to wake up from this dream!

I wrote the above just after returning to Sri Lanka from the SWY youth programme, feeling disoriented and lost. Even though I returned to my own country and was living with my family members at home, I felt disconnected and felt like I didn’t belong there, at home. I was longing to be back on the ship, on Fuji Maru, our home away from home.

Once I shared this poem with my friends from SWY

, I learnt that I was not alone and that many shared the same sentiments of feeling ‘lost’. Having shared approximately two whole months together, on board Fuji Maru, we found it difficult to adjust to our ‘usual’ lifestyles back home.

I for one didn’t feel normal. Not even in my wildest dreams did I think it would be hard to walk back in to my life I had left back home. I was shocked when I returned. I had a hard welcome dose of reality!

For me, the whole experience of the Ship for World Youth feels like a dream. Even to date, when I meet my foreign friends from the programme, I can’t believe my eyes that I am actually meeting them again. I have paradoxical feelings then. I remember meeting Iku in Delhi, when I was there and she was the first youth participant (PY) I met after leaving the ship. I remember suddenly stopping in the middle of the road whilst walking and poking her to make sure she’s real and then screaming “Oh my goodness! You’re real! This is real!” at the top of my lungs! She was surprised at my outburst, but knew that I was trying to adjust to this dream-like syndrome I was facing. She understood, because she too was facing it. It was the same when I met Somaya and Shuaib here in Colombo. I couldn’t kick back the feeling that I was imagining all this.

As much as we had to ‘create’ or ‘find’ our own free times to sit and talk with people, to get to know each other, the life on board Fuji Maru was well planned and scheduled, so I didn’t have to get up in the morning and think about what I had to do for the day. With educational activities, recreational activities, programmes for the youth to appreciate each others cultural, we were a busy group on board. We didn’t have a thought about time or what day of the week or month it was. Most often we would stay up till three or four in the morning talking, exchanging ideas about a new project or simply trying to understand another’s culture better. However, we had to be up and about by eight in the morning for the daily assembly which took place. I got so used to the routine, so much so that even after returning to Sri Lanka, I remember getting up with a shock, thinking that I am late for the morning assembly and out of habit looking across my room to see if my cabin mate was up! It was only when I realized I was at home, did I heave a sigh. It was a sigh of mixed feelings or relief that I wasn’t late and sadness, that I wasn’t on the Ship.

There were numerous things that used to make me feel disoriented. I didn’t feel ‘normal’ in my old life and even the slightest incident made me nostalgic. Every time I heard the song ‘Rambari’ I remembered the Bahraini delegation that used to love this song and make us sing it just for them! I used to look around out of habit to see if they were beside me. The realization that they weren’t, made me every sad.

Looking up at the sky at night and enjoying the stars reminded me of the star gazing experience I enjoyed during the Desert Safari in Dubai and on the ship, when we switched all the lights off. I wanted to lie down again on the ship’s deck with my friends and point out stars in the middle of the Ocean!

I know there will be many reunions and visits by more friends-as it is the case these days- but it will never be the same. Life was so simple, and within the confined space of the Ship, we were one family despite our many differences. To us, the differences didn’t matter! The Ship was a melting pot of cultures, religions, ideas, food habits, talents etc. But, that didn’t matter either. We learnt to appreciate each other.

As a year dawns for the beginning of the wonderful experience of SWY 22, I feel nostalgic, yet happy. I want to see all of my SWY 22 friends and family, I want to reunite with them and share more stories and gather many more good memories with them. As a year passes by, another group, SWY 23 sets voyage to gain these experiences and many more! As a year goes by, I sit reminiscing the times spent and looking within and watching the movie of memories reeling by.

Shots from the Camelot Hotel, Negombo

2011-01-15T23:28:00.004+05:30

Hotel dinning area

Some shots from the Ranweli Hotel, Negombo

2011-01-15T23:14:00.006+05:30

On the boat, riding to the Ranweli Hotel, Negombo

Inside the Ranweli Hotel

I wish I were the sea

2011-01-06T13:31:00.005+05:30

I wish I were the sea

A stone, sand or the beach.

I wish I could just roll

In its vast vicinity.

I wish I could rise to the call of the wind,

And dance to its soft hum.

I wish I could play with the fish, the birds and the turtles,

As I seek company.

I wish I were the sea for its serenity.

As its beauty overwhelms me.

I wish I were the sea

Because of its presence.

To be in many places at the same time.

Oh! How I wish I were the sea….

The Mannequin

2011-01-05T19:14:00.005+05:30

Hawk-like eyes dusted with eye powder,

Twinkling when he smiles,

A wink with amusement

And he takes you for a ride.

Sharp, long nose,

Perfect, as if chiselled.

Strong jaw muscles,

Reflecting a mannequin.

With a tall lean frame,

Could be easily mistaken for a model.

But with his goofy sense of humour

He's nothing but a clown.

Picture perfect,

An artist's dream

This is how I will remember,

My mannequin.

Gone Are the Days…

2011-01-04T23:29:00.009+05:30

Gone are the days

When I thought it was my fault.

And that ending my life would solve all the problems.

Gone are the days

Where I will let you walk all over me,

Dictating terms to me.

Gone are the days,

Where I let you hurl abusive words at me.

Coz from now on,

I am going to let you know otherwise!

Gone are the days,

Where I let you crush my self-confidence.

For, I now know my true value.

I will stand up for myself!

Gone are the days,

Where I let you control me.

From now on I am changing that!

Gone are the days,

Where I put my trust in you;

For I have now come to know

You are nothing but an opportunist!

Gone are the days

Where I blindly listened to you

Or followed you advice;

Coz I thought you wanted the best for me.

But now, I know better.

All you want is my money.

To sell my name, to gain benefits.

To use me for you advantage.

I know you are cold blooded,

And that you shouldn’t be associated.

I now know better!

So gone are the days……

Don’t Tell Me Petty Things

2010-12-31T10:21:00.003+05:30

Don’t tell me I can’t sing

Coz I will hold a note to perfection,

If need be.

Don’t tell me I can’t dance,

Coz I will dance to perfection, in rhythm

So you hold your breath in amazement.

Don’t tell me I am not good,

Coz I will show you that I am

And one day, you will change your mind.

Don’t tell me the world doesn’t need me,

Coz I will work hard,

To show you otherwise.

Don’t tell me I won’t make it in this world,

Coz I will strive to achieve the best,

And be a ‘someone’ one day!

Don’t tell me these petty things,

Coz you are angry or jealous of me,

Coz we both know you’re wrong!

Sudu Achchi in My Memory

2010-12-22T21:55:00.002+05:30

She would sit at the corner chair near the window, with her legs up on a stool. Wearing a loose blouse and a cheeththa redda she would gaze intently at the road while sitting there. On occasion she’d say something to one of her daughters or grandchildren, who whoever is seated close by. This is how I remember my Sudu Achchi, my maternal grandmother.

Sudu Achchi was the only grandparent I got to know during my life as the others had passed away long before I saw the light of this world. She was called Sudu Achchi by us, her grandchildren as she was fair in complexion as well as having a head of long white hair. She was chubby and had a rough voice. What I mean to say is her voice wasn’t high pitched. Her chubbiness has been passed down from generation to generation and some of her children and even grandchildren have the luxury of been the genetic inheritors of this! [Yes, me too] She liked wearing the cheeththe, “it is comfortable” she used to say. This is how I remember her, with her chubbiness and fair complexion. That was her identity.

I remember Achchi sitting at her ‘spot’ or achchige putuwa as we used to call it and gaze at the road in the evenings. Sometimes, watching us grandchildren play in the garden in the evening; be it hide and seek or running games. Being the tomboy I was back then [ok, I guess I still am], I use to join her sometimes, sitting at ‘my spot’ on the parapet wall near the gate. She used to scold me then, saying that I will fall, and from that height, injure myself. But I never listened. I liked that spot and she knew it! So together we’d sit and look at the road, it was a people watching experience, which even now I continue to do unconsciously. [Not sitting on the parapet wall though.] We’d laugh at something funny or even watch together waiting for ammi (my mother) to come home from work. I remember having conversations with her while sitting there on the wall, legs swinging in the air and achchi seated at her spot near the window. I miss those times. Later achchi’s house underwent renovations and the structure changed completely, up front. The one thing I still yearn for is my spot on the wall, where I can sit and reconnect with her. Even to-date, when visiting achchi’s place [I still haven’t got use to calling it anything else besides achchi’s house] I look at the window where she used to sit and feel like she’s still there watching the road. I miss her presence. For me, it will always be ‘her spot’.

Achchi was a little old when I was small, so I always knew her as the white haired, soft skinned, wrinkled lady. She could be stern when she wanted to be, especially with us grandchildren. I particularly remember this one recurring incident. Achchi loved to have a nap in the afternoon, a little while after having her lunch. It energized her she use to say. Me, being the little girl and tomboy that I was, full of energy felt otherwise! For me, this was the time to play and have fun after school. Of course, there was a conflict of interest here; Achchi wanted peace and quiet at home while she slept and I wanted to play! So the result was always her running around the house behind me with a cane, trying to catch me. She was never able to catch me [of course!], but I liked running around the house with achchi at my heels, because this was also the only time I got to run inside the house. However, at some point or the other, one of my aunt’s would intervene and relieve achchi of the chase and make us have our nap. Needless to say the nap was needed and gave us [both my brother and I] the energy to get through the rest of the day. Sadly, I was too small to realize that.

I don’t remember much about Achchi, and I am sad about that. It’s the little things that I remember. Her smell, that lingering smell of her which I don’t-unfortunately- have a comparison to and her voice. I remember sharing her bed at night when I use to stay over and her telling me that kicked her in my sleep but she never complained about it.

I remember even today that she wanted me to toughen up and face the real world, even when I was a little child of 7 or 8 years old. Those who know me know that I am not fond of spicy food. Even as a child that was the case. However, achchi thought differently. She believed that I should get use to the spicy food, because most Sri Lankans eat spicy food, and I would find it difficult to eat out if I didn’t get use to it. Unfortunately, even today, I am still unable to digest too much spice.

I remember her letting me play till it got too dark to play outside, something ammi didn’t allow much. She let us mess the garden, as long as we tidied up afterwards. I remember she was very caring towards her plants and wouldn’t let us harm them or pluck their leaves. I remember cycling on our road, with the ‘kalu mallis’ [three brothers who were dark in complexion] and once falling over, which ended up with me being right under the bicycle. To this day, I have no idea how I managed to be in that weird position. I was scratched and bruised. I remember achchi coming to my aid quickly, having seen the incident from her ‘spot’ by the window. She was so terrified that I had injured my head. I was so cool about it and wanted to get back to playing but she wouldn’t hear of it. Sometimes achchi was cool. She used to defend me when I was falsely accused. I remember once my neighbour [a girl from my school who’s a year younger than me who was living across the road] and I were running up and down the little hill in our achchi’s garage and my friend fell on her face, badly injuring her chin. Achchi was angry that we were being careless, but she knew it as that girl’s fault for tripping over her own feet. Her parents were furious too and scolded me, but achchi came to my rescue. Thereafter achchi told me not to play with her as I would get in to more trouble. However, I was allowed to go to her house and play, as she wasn’t allowed to come out till she was cured. Now I realize what achchi said at that time is true. Over the years, due to various reasons, I lost touch with her, even though she still lives across the street from achchi’s. I am happy I am not in touch because I too would have ended up being messed up as she is, had I been friends with her.

I still don’t know much about achchi, because I never knew her as an adult. I only saw her in my child’s eyes. She will always be my Sudu Achchi, with white hair and fair, soft skin. I will never know what had her ticking or why she loved to sit by the window, all I will have with me are the little memories I will carry with me and the thought that I wished I spent more time with her.

My Achchi, as I Remember Her

2010-12-22T21:54:00.000+05:30

White long hair and chubby

Is how I remember her.

Running behind us, with cane in hand,

Correcting us, when we err.

Making us eat good food,

That was her.

An afternoon nap, was a must

When staying with her.

Soft was her skin

Just like a baby.

Brings a smile on my face,

As I think about her from my memory as a baby.

This was then.

She is no more now.

I keep wishing I had spent more time then,

A wish, which keeps coming to me, even now.

First Timers in India

2010-12-16T18:24:00.000+05:30

Travel by bus not knowing where it will take me [long story]
Take a ride from a stranger [I still can’t believe I did that]
Get lost in a crowded city, thanks to wrong directions by the police
Go running for about 2-3 km a day
Sit at a bus stop for an hour waiting for a bus to come
Buying so many books, that I was nearly broke
Live on mostly fruits and bread for about 2 months
Known as the sportiest of the DJs
Get fever 5 times in 3 months and have constant stomach problems *sigh*
Identified as a ‘tech freak’
Have interactions and more which were interesting with non- Sri Lankans :P
Eat at a restaurant, next door to a brothel =/
Travel for 12 hours in a bus
Use an outdoor toilet :P
See 10 peacocks’ and a fox in a single day
Visit Bodhgaya and walk the ground that Lord Budda walked on
See places that I have studied for history and Buddhist Civilisation
Visit other religious worship places like the Golden Temple-Seikh and a Jain Temple-Sarnath
Travel for more than 13 hours by train, in a sleeper
Sleeping for approximately 10 hours in a train :D
Travel at night in bandit ridden places
Went in an ambulance
Have an adopted global family- Mauritius mom, Iraq elder brother, two Nepal elder brothers, Tanzanian elder sister, Sri Lankan elder sister, two Mauritian younger sisters
Travel a lot in India, covering 4 states in the time being I was there

Waiting

2010-09-17T16:31:00.004+05:30

He talks.

Does he know of what he speaks?

I can hear the noise.

But does he mean what he says?

I sit,

Waiting for him to make sense.

Who am I? I start to think,

No knowing where the thoughts will end.

Will he ever stop,

These words of no weight?

Will he ever make sense,

To finally tell me, what needs to be told?

Heavenly Light

2010-07-17T19:48:00.003+05:30

Heaven looked at me,

Calling me,

Guiding me.

It shone its light at me,

Showing me,

Lighting my way.

The skies looked beautiful,

Soft and feathery

With wonderful yellow hues.

I felt transported,

Standing there

Looking at the heavenly light

Shinning welcomingly.

At that moment,

I knew I was in heaven!

Light & Darkness

2010-05-25T09:58:00.000+05:30

Black with fury
Like all hell hath broken loose
The white light shines
Like it pleadeth mercy.
The darkness and gale
Knows no kindness,
The shimmer of light and the soft clouds
Smile kindly from the heavens above.
Dark waters warns of dangers
Yet the cotton clouds emit comfort.
The waves crash on the rocks
While the wind blows lovingly on the face.

Lost Soul

2010-05-24T21:13:00.000+05:30

Conversations with friends are truly intriguing! I can safely say that! I wonder if this has happened to anyone else, where you are of the assumption that a certain friend has their life and everything to do with it, all sorted out and then end up knowing they are far from it.

It's quite eye opening, when you hear that one of your good friends considers them self a 'lost soul' when all along you thought they were quite settled in life and was content with it. I don't know how to express my shock. I mean how does that happen? If everyone around them thinks they are 'settled' and to the contrary they are not?!

This had me thinking throughout the night that we are all such lost souls- so to say. Aren't we all trying in vain to figure out who we are and what we are doing? Are we not trying to find out the purpose in life? I for one know that I have no clue at all as to what I want to do with my life. I suppose I am the most 'lost' person I know! Apparently they are equally lost people around me, but looks like I've not seen it or could it have been that I chose not to see it? How ever it may be, the fact at hand remains that we-as human beings- are more lost than we give room to think.

Once a friend told me, if you're happy with the way you're living and if you can smile at the end of a long day, then you should be content with your life. I believe there is weight in what she said. For if we can't go to sleep at night and have a peaceful night's sleep, then there is something to worry about.

I think i have gone astray from where I started off. I, as an individual, have stopped trying to figure my soul. I have decided that I will remain in this state of being 'lost'. It's more to do with my peace of mind, than anything else. I feel that I am and I can enjoy life more this way, than having to figure out where I want to go and what I want to do with my life.

I think being 'lost' in life, has its pros and I am going to indulge in this 'lost-ness' more and more to come!

Life: intricate or not?

2010-05-24T15:56:00.000+05:30

A recent conversation with a friend of mine got me thinking if we really know what life has in store for us! I mean seriously, we have these dreams and aspire certain things in life. Surely there are some of us who make elaborate plans in life too-I am not guilty of that however. What got me thinking was, how does one know how these plans will turn out? I mean there's no guarantee of any kind to let us know that what we wish for will come true. Even with all that, we still do, do we not?

A few years back-I can't recall what led me to do this- I stopped making plans and started going with the flow. Yes, it can also be interpreted as I-let-life-take-me-where-it-wants-me. Having said that, I haven't really lost out much on 'life'. Far from it, I would say. I think I have enjoyed more of 'life' due its spontaneity! I am surprised and that is exciting!

See for me, plans, however minute they maybe have a tendency to just melt where they started. So after much trial and error- more error at that- I learned not to keep my hopes up on what I want and let myself go with the flow! This little method of mine has brought me along way. It has kept disappointments at bay-simply because I am not expecting anything, so there are no standards set to be disappointed about and I am stress free and take the utmost pleasure in being surprised caught off guard! However, it goes without saying that I still do come across my fare share of disappointments, but at least it too takes me by surprise so, I can laugh it off should I choose to!

For me, life is truly complicated I would say-cliche I agree. I don't want to figure it out. I just want to enjoy the time I'm living while I am at it. I have made up my mind to enjoy the intricacies and the mysteries it brings my way and take it with a stride. What more can I do right? If this helps me to be happy, then why the hell not?

‘Elected’ through racism

2010-05-17T12:51:00.001+05:30

ELECTED, a forum theatre based on an election campaign at a private university, shows Mohan Raj and Mihiri Jayasooriya in a heated election campaign to win the Student Council Presidency.

Trying to outdo the other, in an attempt to win the most number of votes, they engage in an intense campaign. Mohan, a Tamil student initially seems the likely candidate to win. However, with Mihiri’s cunning campaign tactics, the chances seem slightly dim. What will happen? Will Mohan be able to win or will Mihiri ultimately win the Council Presidency?

Forum Theatre (FT) was introduced by Augusto Boal in the late twentieth century, as a part of his “Theatre for the Oppressed”. This form of theatre allows the audience to stop, intervene and ultimately change the course of the drama, in an attempt to curb the resulting tragic ending.

Presented by Beyond Borders, a youth led, not for profit organization, ELECTED will focus on the issues of racism in governance with the university atmosphere. Beyond Borders uses Forum Theatre as a means to highlight deep rooted sensitive issues within society. Previous productions of Beyond Borders include ‘Censored’ and most recently ‘Jerk?’.

The Forum Theatre will be staged at the Namel Malini Punchi Theatre, on the 22^nd of May 2010 from 5pm onwards. Come and see the election campaign of the two candidates unravel on stage!

For more information http://beyondborders.lk/ft/

Solitary Respect

2010-04-27T21:25:00.004+05:30

It stood tall, dark and solitary.

Majestic and alone.

Free from influence,

Away from the crowd.

It stood,

Gaining respect.

The Pine Tree.

Take a Minute

2010-04-14T00:05:00.003+05:30

Take a minute

To say a word- say a word

To a friend.

Take a minute

To put a smile on someone's face,

A smile that will

Warm their hearts.

Take a minute

To listen to someone

'Coz you never know it it's important

Or if it will be the last time.

Take a minute

To appreciate life

And the beauty around you,

'Coa you never know what's in store.

Take a minute

To tell you family & friends

That you love them,

'Coz you never know when life will end.

**In memory of my friend Chika Aomori**

Tell me will I be normal again?

2010-03-18T02:21:00.002+05:30

Looking around me, I fail to realise what I see.
I wonder if I am back, or if this is only a dream.
I try to understand what these feelings are,
If they are mine or from a fairytale.

I fail to understand what reality is.
I seem to float about, and
I am told I am distant.
I wonder what it is that I feel?

Jet lag? they tell me,
Ship sick some say.
I see many faces around me,
But fail to put a name on them.

At night I dream of scores of faces,
Living parts of the dream we shared together.
The mornings are the worst,
As I have to face the inevitable world!

I feel like I am in dreamland or a fairytale
As you please.
I fail to realise what normalcy is,
Or what it use to be.

Tell me will I be normal again?
Will I ever be me?
These are some questions I ask,
Unable to wake up from this dream!

** Something that spontaneously came to my mind, right now**

Candlelight Memorial In Nawalapitiya

2009-12-10T20:51:00.007+05:30

By: Bhagya Senaratne

Sleepy-eyed and running with half packed bags, the volunteers of 'Together We Are The Solution' drove to the Nawalapitiya town to prepare for the World AIDS Day Programme on December 1st 2009. We planned a day full of surprises for the town's folk. Situated, in the hill country, Nawalapitiya is one of the coldest areas in Sri Lanka, and is prominently known for its tea plantation.

Having decided to make a different approach from the usual AIDS Day programmes held in the metropolis of Colombo, 'Together We Are The Solution' team, upon the invitation of the Nawalapitiya local police, decided on its new location, because it is a locale where issues of HIV, sexual and reproductive health are less discussed, and also a place where, according to the local police, a high rate of rape and sexual abuse takes place.

The event was made colourful with many innovative creations, such as the Stigma Tunnel, the 'Knowledge Dansala', and Street Theatre. The Stigma Tunnel was created to depict the life of a Person Living with HIV. The Tunnel consisted of five sections and provided the entrants to the Tunnel with a glimpse of stigma, the People Living with HIV (PLHIV) have to face. The five section were divided in to the clinic, the home, the road, the office, and finally the most important section was the counselling section by PLHIV who are part of the team. The entrants were briefed on correct information such as HIV transmission, and was provided with the opportunity to express their views on the stigma they encountered through the Tunnel journey.

The team began street theatre that included slogan shouting in Tamil and Sinhalese, awareness songs to popular folk tunes such as 'surangani malu genawa', again in both languages, and the distribution of leaflets in Sinhala and Tamil. With the supported of the police, it was possible for us to target commuters at the bus stand and train station, consumers and owners at shops and markets, public outside religious places of worship. The team was even able to enter the Nawalapitiya Base Hospital. The street activities conducted team was well appreciated by the pedestrians as they stopped and enthusiastically watched to see what happened; while some eagerly questioned us to know what the commotion, created by the street drama was all about.

The Chief guest for the event was DIG ,Central Province, Pujitha Jayasinghe. A local threatre group performed a stage drama after which, DIG Pujitha Jayasinghe inaugurated the 'Knowledge Dansala' and the Stigma Tunnel. The DIG left with the words that we have to replicate this programme across the central province and beyond. Enduring the weather conditions, the volunteers were energetic in making sure that this event was successful. This was made a reality, when after the DIG's inauguration, more than 100 members of the public individually and later in groups through the Stigma Tunnel, despite the heavy downpour. Having listened to some of the responses by those who went through the Stigma Tunnel, it was seen that this innovative creation was effective, and much approved by the public.”One participant of the Stigma Tunnel stated “I can’t believe that families treat each other like that just because they’re HIV+”, while another stated “It was awful. I never want anybody to go through that experience."

Despite being physically exhausted, 'Together We Are The Solution' team, with a strong will power, made sure that the World AIDS Day Programme in Nawalapitiya was as successful as they had planned it out to be. The team will be planning to hold a similar event in a different locale in a few weeks time.

**This was written to the Daily News. You can see the article here.**

Am I Different?

2009-11-18T18:26:00.004+05:30

Am I different from him,

To not be given the same opportunities?

Am I less important that him

To not be treated equally?

Why don't I get the same healthcare.

Same nutrition opportunities?

Is it because I am less special?

Am I less important?

Why do you treat me differently?

Why do you do this tome?

What did I do to deserve this treatment?

Is it because I am not him?

**Dedicated to all the women out there, who are discriminated due to their gender**

Shakespeare comes alive

2009-10-07T18:05:00.001+05:30

The final round of the All Island Interschool Shakespeare Drama Competition was held on October 2 with the competitions of the girls' category. Ave Maria Convent Negombo, Girls' High School Kandy, Ladies' College and Visakha Vidyalaya competed in this final rou nd.

From stomach splitting laughter to downright seriousness, the audience - those who had not been to the semis - were kept on the edge of their seats in wonderment, at how the plays were to proceed. The Shakespearean dramas were given a twist and turn and the schools gave off an overall stunning performance.

A scene from the Shakespearean Drama Competition

However there were a few slips to be seen in the four plays. From projection to blunders in lighting, it was felt that the casts and crews needed to brush up their parts before they came on stage. Despite all that the contestants presented a spectacular performance.

Starting the final round of the competition with Ave Maria's 'As You Like It' saw the play making use of the entire stage. It was visible that some of the props used during the play were inconvenient to the actresses. The overall performance of the cast was commendable.

Witty gestures

'A Midsummer Night's Dream' performed by Girls' High School Kandy was an extremely unusual performance. With a switch from Greek to Kandyan the cast made the play more Sri Lankan. With Shakespearean language and the Kandyan attire, the overall experience was extraordinary.

This was deemed apt considering the choice of scenes and the focus of the play. Laying weight on the comic elements of the play and the witty gestures used left the audience drowning in laughter. Another rare feat was the involvement of a canine on stage.

Ladies' College performing 'Much Ado About Nothing' was entertaining while at the same time well directed. It was a play which portrayed strong characters and unusual human sets. The dancers used in the play instead of sets is worthy of mentioning, as the flow of the play was maintained due to this. Even though nothing out of the ordinary was perceived within this play, the subtle humour, the mastered use of lights and the overall performance were entertaining.

Polished and expert look

The final play 'Romeo and Juliet' by Visakha Vidyalaya was neatly presented. The scenes were cleverly edited which gave the play a polished and expert look. Though the play was slightly overacted the performance was outstanding with good sound effects.

Ladies' College went on to win the Girls' category of the Interschool Shakespeare Drama Competition, while Visakha Vidyalaya was the Runner-up. Ave Maria Convent Negombo came in as the second Runners-up and Girls' High School Kandy were the third Runners-up of the night. Girls' High School Kandy also won the Best Outstation Schools Award. As for individual awards, Best Actress All Island was awarded to Tehani Welgama of Ladies' College, while the Best Supporting Actress was awarded to Naveka Karunarathne of Visakha Vidyalaya. The Best Actress Outstation Schools was awarded to Niroshi Perera of Ave Maria Convent Negombo.

The boys' schools competitions, held on October 4, were equally entertaining. D. S. Senanayake College, Maris Stella College Negombo, St. Joseph's College, and Wesley College competed in this final round.

The plays ranged from mediocre to excellence, while the schools had interesting innovations up their sleeves! There are a few criticisms to be made of the overall performance of the plays. As the panel of judges noted 'there is room for improvement'. It was felt that the casts needed to pay more attention to aspects of drama such as voice projection and diction. Other than for which the overall plays were well enacted.

Excellent diction

The competition started with D. S. Senanayake College's 'Romeo and Juliet'. Character-wise, Mercutio was well played. The comic aspects were strongly brought out. However, Romeo's role should have been improved.

In terms of the entire play, the audience felt it was too long. The lapse of time was felt with the emphasis, the scenes chosen had on the entire play. Therefore, the audience thought that it was less entertaining.

Maris Stella College's 'A Mid Summer Night's Dream' was much liked by the audience. The funny actions and the punning had the audience in tears with laughter. Puck's role needs special mentioning as it was well enacted. In terms of criticism, they need to work on voice projection, but the overall performance was excellent.

'Hamlet' performed by St. Joseph's College was quite exceptional. With a cleverly edited script the play was neatly directed. With excellent diction and a good use of the entire stage, they pulled off a exceptional performance.

Wesley College too performed A 'Midsummer Night's Dream'. Their use of sets was limited to chairs which were pilled high, which paved way for the smooth flow of the play. Here too the character of Puck was well played.

A big shout-out

In terms of individual awards the Best Actor All Island was awarded to Daminda Wijayaratne of Maris Stella College Negombo. The Best Supporting Actor was awarded to Prathap Kumarapperuma of St. Joseph's College and the Best Actor for Outstation Schools was awarded to Daminda Wijayaratne of Maris Stella College Negombo. As for the schools awards, the Best Outstation Boys' School Award was awarded to Maris Stella College, Negombo.

The third Runner-up school was Wesley College; the second Runner-up was St. Joseph's College, while the Runner- up was awarded to D. S. Senanayake College. The Winners of the Interschool Shakespeare Drama Competition- Boys' Schools was awarded to Maris Stella College, Negombo.

Hemaka Amarasooriya of Singer Sri Lanka was the Chief Guest, while Singer Sri Lanka was the sponsor for the event. The Awards were handed over by Rtn. Dulip Jayamaha, President of the Rotary Club of Colombo North and D. R. A. Kannangara, President of the Colombo YMCA. Last but not least, a big shout-out to the YMCA and the Rotary Club of Colombo North for organising a successful event of this nature annually.

**This was written to the Daily News. To see the article click here.**

The Glory of Gold

2009-10-07T18:01:00.001+05:30

While the sun bears down on us and the beach near by was burning hot, we listened to the waves crash on the rocks, as we walked in through a white picket fence to the cozy home of Mary Anne David and Andrew David. The sweet aroma of food and the warmth of their home welcomed us. Greeting us with a bright and affectionate smile Mary Anne made us feel right at home.

Mary Anne David
Pictures by Ruwan de Silva

Having been awarded the State Music Award for her contribution to Western vocal music this year, Mary Anne David along with her vivacious students are preparing for their concert ‘Glory of Gold’.

Mary Anne states that this event is exclusively organized to acknowledge the talents of the students of The Mary Anne School of Vocal Music, who took part in the competitions of The Sri Lanka Festival of Music, Dance and Speech which is affiliated to the British and International Festivals of Music, Dance and Speech.

She states that the talents of these students who went on to bag seventy two of the awards of the competition should be acknowledged.

The school won approximately sixty awards in the previous year’s competition and the school winning at a larger scale this year goes on to illustrate that there is abundant of talent within her students. With this achievement, Mary Anne goes on to set a record by being the first Choral Director in Sri Lanka to win the highest number of all island awards.

Competition

Last year, after the students had displayed their talents in the same competition, Mary Anne had organized a small scale production to celebrate the talents of her students at the Russian Cultural Centre. This year, she states that the students have performed extraordinarily and that they deserve recognition for their outstanding talents which were displayed. Therefore, she will be organizing Glory of Gold in a much larger scale at the Lionel Wendt.

Speaking about the upcoming concert, Mary Anne becomes very animate, as she boasts –very rightly- about her students’ talents. She states that all the students who competed in The Sri Lanka Festival of Music, Dance and Speech will be performing at ‘Glory of Gold’. When inquired about special spots in the program, Mary Anne grinned and said she intends to keep that a secret till the performing nights and surprise her audience. However, she did go on to reveal that there will be performances by quartets, duets and trios. ‘Glory of Gold’ has a variety of features on its program ranging from hits from the past, famous songs from broadways, and a selection of sacred and gospel music.

Vocalists

Mary Anne said one of the main features of the up coming concert would be the guest spot that she will be giving to three young female vocalists from the senior section of The Mary Anne School of Vocal Music. She stated that this will be the only guest item during the concert and that these singers are also members of the Merry An Singers.

Being a bubbly, energetic person by nature Mary Anne’s joyful voice echoed through the house, as she became animated in reminiscing her childhood days. She spoke endearingly of her mother, and how she had giving her mother a scare or two during her youth.

Music

As a lady who has been a Choral Director for the past forty years, she has trained many renowned voices in Sri Lanka; so much so, that some of these vocalists have gone on to establish their own names in the music industry in the form of choirs, bands or as soloists. It can be said without a doubt that Mary Anne has trained and unearthed the talents of many of the contemporary Sri Lankan soloists.

To name a few, Kishani Jayasinghe, Gayathrie Peiris Patrick, Bathiya and Santhush, Rajitha-leader of the band Misty, Suni Perera-leader of Gypsies, Piyal Perera- member of Gypsies, Ashanthie, Soundarie David- Vocal Director of Soul Sounds, Sanjeev Jayaratnam- Director of Revelations. Speaking of Bathiya & Santhush, she states “the crowd today does not know their real voices.

They do not need mikes to sing!” She states that they have very powerful voices. According to Mary Anne, Bathiya & Santhush will be performing with her, sometime mid next year and she adds that they have agreed to sing “without mikes” and that will be “selecting the songs for them to sing.”

Colourful

In addition, the concert will be accompanied on the drums by Christopher Prins and Neranjan De Silva will be in charge of the sound works. Another specialty of this concert is that it will have Mary Anne’s book titled, ‘Merry Voices Raised in Song’ for sale. This book which has colourful photographs covers stories about Mary Anne and her choir- The Merry An Singers and the forty year’s journey through the paths of music. The money collected by both the concert and the sale of books will go towards the fund to build Mary Anne’s studio.

For Mary Anne, the journey through her life has been memorable with the assistance of her loving husband Andrew David. She chuckles as she says that Andrew manages the nitty gritties of the school and who is also the producer of The Merry Ann Singers. She goes on to state that “Andrew brings me back to earth, when I am in my fantasies.”

The couple’s son, Andre too has become part of the School and trains the lower grades. Mary Anne chuckles while she says that Andre is also the choreographer for the school. She states to a side that we should see him in action, when he is teaching the children their moves. She further states that if we happen to walk in to The Dutch Reform Church in Wellawatte, we will be able to catch the vocalists in training. Giving us details about her goings-on, Mary Anne states that she has started a choir for those above the age of forty years.

The ‘Young’ Ones as they are known are a fun loving crowd who has much talent within them that is not tapped in to. She says she is hoping to start similar choirs around the island as she knows that the elderly are neglected in society today.

The concert Glory of Gold will be on October 10 and 11 at Lionel Wendt and the concert will commence at 7pm.

**This was written to the Daily News. To see the article, click here.**

A warm hug and a toothless smile

2009-10-07T17:59:00.000+05:30

Making their twilight years bright.

Picure by Saman Sri Wedage

Feeble, crotchety and flawed. Is this how you perceive you elders to be? Do you consider them to be inconsiderate, and irritating people who want you to take care of their every want and need? If these are the thoughts that are circulating in your head, then it is a very unfortunate situation our society faces today.

Elderly population

Have you noticed that the society has changed? If not, there is something you should keep in mind. In the next few years to come, Sri Lanka is going to see one of the largest elderly populations in her history.

With the rise in the standards of living today, with an assortment of health facilities and nutritious food, many people go on to live up to a ripe age.

This will be the case with both you and me in the years to come. Since this is the case, is it important that there is a change in the way the elders are perceived. A change of attitudes is essential, in providing the elders a loving atmosphere in society.

Grandchildren

Imagine yourself in the shoes of the elder. Think that it is you being ill treated. Would you like your children and maybe your grandchildren to ill treat you? Who are these elders? They are your parents and grandparents.

They too, just like you and I, are human. They need love and kindness just like any other person.

Since, elders are thought of as a burden, people tend to forget the tender and kind side to these people.

Company

So, while you are reading this, are you thinking that they consume a lot of your time? Think again! Does not everything in your life consume a lot of your time then? Would it hurt to spend a little bit of your time with them? Think of your grandparents; are they not loving, considerate and understanding people?

Do you not enjoy spending time with them? If you do love the company of your grandparents, it is invaluable, especially on a day like today, that you give more thought to them; spend more time with them.

You never know, if you go for a visit, your grandmother might just make your favourite dish! Elders love to tell stories to children and entertain them with fantasies and hilarious and memorable incidents from their childhood.

It might be worth your time if you can spare an hour or two, if not a few minutes from you hectic schedule to visit them, even if it is to give them a warm hug before you day starts, whether they be alone at their own home or at an elders’ home.

Heart-warming

Who knows you might want to visit them again and again, because they caught you off guard and had you rolled in a ball laughing at something they did when they were small.

Remember, it’s heart-warming to see a smile - even toothless - on your parent’s or grandparent’s face. A smile that is full of love and endearment.

Therefore, at least on a day like today, which celebrated your elders, why not make that little effort to make them happy, for you never know, you might regret it later!

**This was written for the Daily News. You can see the article here.

Beyond the barriers

2009-10-07T17:55:00.001+05:30

Reproductive healthcare and family planning remained 'unspeakable' in the conservative Asian societies. It is time to look beyond the barriers to protect the health of women, children and the family's economic base

'Small is beautiful', 'a happy family' are some of the catchy statements widely used at home and abroad when it comes to family planning. The topic never lost its importance in roundtables or outside the cooling chambers as it is considered a socialresponsibility of each one of us with a heavy impact on the national economy if the matter is simply overlooked.
Health is priority for mother and child. Picture by Kavindra Perera
Population growth, reproductive healthcare and family planning are intertwined issues directly focusing on individual health and development which ultimately boils down to economic and overall development of the country. Awareness on reproductive healthcare can prevent unwanted pregnancy and helps build a healthy family based on the family income and other social, economic conditions. Hence educating women on this topic is timely and Sri Lanka could reap healthy results while minimizing many serious health hazards mainly the HIV.
When shedding light on reproductive healthcare the essential aspects that come under the focus are teenage pregnancy, pre-marital sex, abortion, child birth and sexually transmitted diseases.
These are almost 'social taboos' in the Asian society blocking communication, dialogue and transmission of knowledge on reproductive health. A workshop on advocacy and skill building on the International Conference on Population and Development (ICPD) was organized by the Youth Committee of the Family Planning Association (FPA) Sri Lanka and International Planned Parenthood Federation South Asia Regional Office (IPPF SARO) to draw attention of the persons concerned on HIV, sexual and reproductive health, in Colombo recently.
The FPA Sri Lanka initiates and explores innovative and challenging processes of family planning in Sri Lanka. The International Planned Parenthood Federation South Asia region includes the Family Planning Associations (FPAs) of Bangladesh, India, Iran, the Maldives, Nepal, Pakistan and Sri Lanka.
By focusing on the central role of women, 179 nations united to fight worsening global poverty, rapid population growth and stagnant economic conditions.
The Program of Action was initiated by the International Conference on Population and Development also known as the Cairo Consensus which was formed in Cairo, Egypt in September 1994.
One of the main principles of the Cairo Consensus was that the needs of the current generations should not occur at the expense of future generations. Countries agreed to involve young people in finding solutions to the issues that affect their own lives and common future.
The move calls for high priority for protection, survival and education development to combat the adverse effects of poverty. It also urges to enact and strictly enforce laws against economic exploitation and physical and mental abuse or neglect and to
create policies to discourage and eliminate child marriage.
The Program of Action called for investment in comprehensive sexual and reproductive healthcare and rights for women and men agreeing to give universal access to services and information to improve sexual and reproductive health for everyone by 2015. The global need was positioned at $ 17.5 billion per year by 2000 and it rose to $21.7 billion per year by 2015. Donor nations pledged to offer one-third of the total, while developing nations agreed to provide the remainder.
However, the needs have increased and the donor commitments are not being met.
Sri Lanka which has emerged from the scourge of terrorism is seeing rapid development. At this juncture it is important that we focus on educating the youth on sexual and reproductive health and rights that lead to other development issues, such as poverty, ill health, women's rights and needs, and rapid population growth.
Sexual and reproductive health and rights include the full gamut of education, information, affordable and effective supplies and services necessary to allow all couples and individuals to decide freely and responsibly the number, spacing and timing of their children, and to attain the highest standard of sexual and reproductive health.
Ignorance parallel with dire economic conditions can lead women and youth to be away from proper family planning systems worsening the family's economic condition and the health of women and children.
Educating adolescent on reproductive health while they are at school is one way of overcoming the problems.
The youth should be well informed of reproductive healthcare and adolescent sexual behaviour to avoid serious consequences resulting from unprotected sex and contacting sexually transmitted diseases.
The workshop saw a gathering of enthusiastic youth from many NGOs, media personnel and activists. The Family Planning Association (FPA) Sri Lanka is an accredited member of the International Planned Parenthood Federation (IPPF) United Kingdom. They were the first organization to initiate and establish a space for Sexual and Reproductive Health (SRH) services in the country.
It was conducted by Arushi Singh of IPPF SARO, UNFPA Program Officer for HIV and Youth of Revathi Chawla and National Youth Coalition's Milinda Rajapaksha. Arts Faculty Dean of the Colombo University Prof. Indralal de Silva also spoke.
**This was an article written to the Daily News. To see the article, click here.

Reviving the epic legend

2009-10-07T17:52:00.002+05:30

Prashasti 2009: An Epic of the Prophecy, organized by the Ananda College Senior Brass Band (ACSBB) was held at the Bandaranaike Memorial International Convention Hall (BMICH) on September 05 for the ninth consecutive year. Representing the Tharunyayata Hetak Foundation, Yoshitha Rajapakse was the chief guest at the occasion.

The Ananda College Senior Brass Band was first established in 1992, with a mere seven members to its name. With a few instruments and without a proper band uniform at the time, this school Brass Band has journeyed long, to be what it is today.

The event was made colourful by the numerous local schools that participated in the event. Performances by Bishops College, Musaeus College, Visakha Vidyalaya, Sirimavo Bandaranaike Vidyalaya, Devi Balika Vidyalaya, Kandy Girls High School, Ranabima Royal College, Mahanama College, and Thurstan College left the audience speechless. It is commendable that Ananda College gave many a school brass band and western band, the opportunity to exhibit their talents. The talents exhibited by the children were highly impressive.

While giving the school children the limelight, Prashasti 2009 saw to it that renowned artists too performed on the same stage together with school children. Guest artistes like Bhathiya Santhush and Crew, Dushyanth Weeraman, Iraj Weerarathne, Akalanka Ganegama, Elephant Foot, Colours Choir, Channa Upuli Dance Troupe, Musaeus College Dance Troop and Nishantha mesmerising the audience. The dynamic and energetic performances left the audience cheering for more. The variations and the manner in which all the items were presented should be applauded.

Ananda's Acting Principal Lal Dissanayake and Senior Brass Band teacher in charge K. M. Rathnapala presented Yoshitha Rajapaske with a token of appreciation for gracing the occasion. Furthermore at the event Bathiya Santhush and the Crew were felicitated by the Ananda College Senior Brass Band.

Distinguished invitees for the occasion were Tharunyayata Hetak Foundation President Namal Rajapaksa, Yoshitha Rajapaksa, Secretary, Sri Lanka Cricket Nishantha Ranathunga, Managing Director, Max Television & Radio Network Janaka Ramanayake and Director, Jaycey Group of Companies Ruwan Edirisinghe.

The welcome speech was given by Lahiru de Ruberu, the Co- Leader of the Ananda College Senior Brass Band while the vote of thanks was given by Vinu Hapangoda, the Acting Leader of the Ananda College Senior Brass Band.

Ananda College Senior Brass Band should be commended for organizing a magnificent event as this.

Immense effort was put in to this event by the students of the organizing committee to preserve the traditions of their Alma Mata.

**The above was written to the Daily News. Click here to the online article**

Beneath the Smile

2009-09-06T19:40:00.001+05:30

Smile. What a wonderful act it is. It can speak a thousand words without having to utter a single word. But has it ever occurred to anyone that there are unsaid words beneath that smile? There can be hidden feelings, covered by the lie and a feigned smile.

Come to think of it, we all smile at some point is a day. Be it for real or for lies. Sometimes it is to make things easy; to get away from something. But do we ever go beyond that smile? Look to see if the person is smiling genuinely or if it's a 'plastic smile'? I am sure we have al, in some point in our lives notice a fake smile in someone. I see heads nod and smiles appearing at this. How many of us take the time to actually see how natural a smile can be.

Have I lost you between the lines? Well, what I wanted to say is, during the recent past, I have come across many people who smile such beautiful smiles. So much so, that they can easily erase your worries. But when looked deep within, they are hurt and scared, more than you can imagine. Sometimes, these individuals smile as it is the only way they can bare with their troubles. By smiling away the worries - literally. Sometimes, however, all they want is for someone to look deeper. To see through their beautiful smile & see the hurt. The anguish.

I know many will say, 'if they want help they need to reach out & ask for it.' What I have to say is that it's not that these people can't do that.It is just hard for them to do that ask for help. Sometimes it goes beyond just asking for help. They may be scared & insecure to actually ask someone for help. They may want some to notice their pain, more than we can imagine.

I think we need to think about the individuals with us. We need to think that sometimes there are people amongst us, who need help desperately, but are unable to reach out and ask for it. I am just saying that we need to remember of the people around us. To be more human, without being just another someone.

Love towards animals?

2009-06-28T19:14:00.001+05:30

Why do people hurt animals? Be cruel to them? This is something which I have been thinking about for a long time. I don't get it. Don't they understand it hurts the animals as much as us humans?

Recently I came a across a link, which shows minks - if I'm not mistaken - that are skinned alive for their skin! The poor animals were treated with utmost cruelty. Beaten in multiple places, like the head and spine. Mind you this is all happens while the animal is very much a live.

Frankly, I can't put up eating meat after I have seen how the animals are killed for their meat. I suppose this is one of the reasons - maybe unconsciously - I became a vegetarian. I mean if I talk about animal cruelty and happily go and munch cooked animal flesh - not so politely speaking - I think some might call me a hypocrite. The torture the animal is put through, before being killed is unbearable. I don't understand how anyone can do that. I tend to question if they are really humans.

Also, I don't see how people can take a dog or cat in to their homes very lovingly and then end up treating it very cruelly. Why do they even bother? What is the point? Do they do it on purpose? Or is it simply neglect and not being bothered? Don't these people realise that the animals need as much attention as we do? That they eat and sleep like us. They want to be shackle free, to run around and play. They too have feelings.

I think we should, as humans, if not at least as caring beings, think about our treatment towards animals. Must we really treat them like that? I am wondering who the real animals are! Think about it!

Take a look the following links. Beware, some of them are not for weak hearts.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2394875026492815226

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYOsBJkHgIU

http://www.pet-abuse.com/pages/animal_cruelty.php

Random Thoughts About Holidays

2009-06-28T17:42:00.002+05:30

Oh no!! I hate when holidays come to and end!! I hate the whole idea of going back to school or uni, as the case maybe. I know most will not agree this is me but will be nodding in agreement Why must vacation end? I guess the saying goes all good things come to an end I think it sucks big time!

Well, this time there are quite a few reasons. One being that, it's going to be my final year at uni, and I am going to have to learn to get use to not being in that place. Well, what I am trying to say is that i sure will miss that place. I have a soft spot for it after all, by the looks of it.

And the other is the the thought -torturous thought, I should add- that I wasn't able to enjoy my holidays. Imagine you go in to holidays thinking "wow!! I'm gonna rock this holiday" and then end up stuck in bed for half the vacation. How annoying do you think that can be? - (the thought itself pisses me off- Imagine all the fun time that was wasted! Such sadness! But I guess there's a silver lining to ever dark cloud. At least being sick, I as able to happily catch up on my reading - do i see heads nod in agreement - At least by reading I was able to travel far and wide.

Sighs in exasperation - can you even start imagining what it's like to be cooped up at home, for weeks! It's really annoying! It's not me, simply saying. I am never home. That's what keeps me ticking. Being active! Usually holidays are a time to be active -thinks this is going no where.

I hope, at least some one had a wonderful vacation. That ought to - hopefully - cheer me up!

The Journey

2009-06-16T13:11:00.002+05:30

Silence prevails.
Where once the wanderer traced the paths.
Silence prolongs.
When once the birds chirped in harmony.

The winds blow the dry leaves aimlessly.
Where once the winds kissed the luscious leaves.
The tree now stands bare in solitude
When once it gave shade to many a traveler.

The lonely road stretches far.
Where once the flowers danced encouragingly on the side.
The journey is long now
With neither sight, feeling nor the guide.

Sickbed

2009-06-16T13:10:00.000+05:30

Heat blurring vision.
The slightest sound resonating like a gong.
Head burning, ready to explode.
Ears fuming like an old caol train.
This lying in bed I feel,
With high fever,
Yet again.

Midnight Scribbles

2009-06-16T13:08:00.000+05:30

As rain falls unevenly,
And as dogs bark in the distance,
My inner pendulum struggles to keep pace.

As the winds blow swiftly,
And as the owls hoot,
My eyes with sleep
Refuse to stay awake.

As the clock ticks,
And as I heave a sigh,
I drift back off
To dreamland,
Again.

Water? Dream? Wall?

2009-06-16T13:07:00.000+05:30

Chaos breaks.
And the silent water ripples.
A tiny pebble was all that was needed
For the calmness to seize.

Serenity is not to be had.
Peace just a dream.
Solitude just a vision,
Of what is to be.

The wall built is strong.
The structure true to its word.
The wing will not penetrate,
Or at least that is what it seems.

Umbrella

2009-06-16T13:06:00.002+05:30

A wet umbrella
In the hot hot sun.
"Is it even possible?"
One thinks.

Dripping with water,
Under the blazing sun,
One would ask
"Did it rain?" or "when?"

A simple thought provoked
By an umbrella,
Which was taken out to shield me
From the burning sun.

Shifting

2009-06-16T13:04:00.000+05:30

Thud, thud, thud
There's a knocking on the door.
Who could it be, I thought
Walking towards the door.

I cringe to see it a neighbour,
come to pay a friendly visit.
I want to run at his affability.
Because right now, all I want is some time alone.

I heave a sigh and open the door,
Fighting the urge to lock it up, instead.
"Bear with me" I say, "the house is still a mess."
He smiles politely and offers his help.

I wish I could put up a sign,
'Just moved in and not ready for visitors.'
Yet, I smile to myself,
Thinking this is what a new place brings!

Letting Go

2009-06-16T13:02:00.001+05:30

You bring me hope as each day starts,
With the twinkle in your eyes
And the laughter in your voice.

Though each day I search for you
Through the many eyes I see.
There's something I'll always remember,
You will never be with me.

Though hard it is to let you go,
That I surely will do.
Hope someday you'll find someone
Who'll love you more than I do.....

Hate

2009-02-28T11:44:00.001+05:30

Such an ambivalent feeling,
Coming in all forms and sizes.
An instant and spontaneous thing,
Unknowingly your heart it seizes.

Names and faces you want to thrash,
You think you can, but you realise you cannot.
Things seem to fly and crash,
But where you want to, it does not.

Is it worth it you try to think,
Sitting where you are, on the fence.
Still on the edge, on the brink,
What other can you do, but be like hence?

Months Over

2009-02-19T00:13:00.000+05:30

Heartbroken by something true
Didn't know what to do.
Day and night just to get through
Would simply try not thinking of you.

Trying hard not to cry
Would heave many a sigh.
To leap the hurdles did I try
Only to realise time is high.

Over the months with a dark heart
Would walk alone many a path.
Hard it was for the heart to part
Did then ride life broken, not looking forth.

Painting a smile over a bleeding heart
Showed the world I was alright.
Was told I should have a new start,
Who was I fooling when I wanted to fight?

Beginning

2009-02-19T00:02:00.002+05:30

Because of you the sky seemed gray,
Or so I thought.
But the sun was shinning brightly,
I saw.

The air was thin and time was short,
I felt.
Breathed again and eternity came,
I realised.

Smile with joy and be happy
Thought I'd never be.
But live alone and walk the roads again,
That I do.

Who you are

2009-02-06T22:44:00.000+05:30

Remember when you are feeling down
All the good you do.
Don't let what the others say
Get the best of you.

Lift your head
And walk the path,
The paths of love and joy.
You will love the moment's serenity
And the lasting peace inside.

Remember no matter what they say,
You are the best you can be.
You will always be remembered
For who you are,
And that is the best!

What will happen?

2009-02-04T22:51:00.004+05:30

Anger, hate and mistrust.
That is what engulfs us everyday.
Betrayal and insecurity
Is what surrounds us each day.

What happened to loving one another,
Trusting and believing in each other?
What happened to the helping hands
And the sense of security?

Must we all lie in a false state of bliss?
What happened to equilibrium?
Is it never meant to be, but erode?
What will happen?
And when will it all change?

Pondering

2009-02-04T10:28:00.005+05:30

As the thunder strikes again
And the waves crash on your face,
You sit a moment to ponder
What all this has to mean.

The glow of red yonder
Gives comfort beyond reason.
You hold the peace within you
And wish nothing would change.

The dark clouds seeping in
Reminds you where you are.
You know you have to return to the
Storm and the snares.

The Unheard

2009-01-17T21:16:00.003+05:30

Empty bullet shells lie scattered
Around dead bodies.
Lonely footprints on the ground
Blood gushing from wounds.

Birds fly from leaf less trees
A distant 'bang' tells that another bomb has exploded.
Sun sets slowly, spreading its red glow
Silence befalls this lonely ground.

The ear is pierced
With wailing cries.
"How much more of this?"
They ask, "and how to survive?"

Ode to the Year 2008

2008-12-31T12:07:00.004+05:30

With friends and family
Approached the crack of dawn.
Greeting it with new hope and love.
And ensuring that music and entertainment was to follow.

As books and pens did stack up high,
Pressure and boredom often came at equal stride.
When the going got tough
Friends came to be my shadow.

Many late nights and a vacant home, did follow
When I found I was never home!
Sleep deprived by last minute studying, assignments
And chatting with friends!

Morning, noon and night
Time did not seem to matter,
The days blended in to one,
Each quickly flowing by.

Exams and assignments
Stuck under the heavy load of books.
Seemed never ending,
Words upon the brain.

Parties, get togethers,
Meeting friends from long ago.
Happy times, with music
Binding and keeping the momento.

New friends, realities
Secrets, all hushed up.
Excitement and hopes, all
Kept bundled up in one balloon bag.

Tears, buckets full of them
Enough to water a garden - I should say-
Shared throughout the year
With my dear friends.

Sadness, sometimes too much to handle,
Even life threatening - I should say-
Survived them all, somehow
Worrying loved ones around.

Parties, parties, and more parties,
Breaking all late night time limits!
Being someone I never was,
Discovering a new me!

Adventure, depth
Seeking the unseekable,
Defining moments of what life would be.

Learning to choose carefully,
Understanding what it could be.
Knowing right from wrong
And the importance it brings.

Being believed in
And taken to higher limits.
Friends who just don't take a 'no' for an answer.
But keep pushing me forward, "just because you can" they say.

Loved ones having faith in me
Putting me to the test,
Showing me, with a guiding hand
That everything will be alright.

Enjoyment, tons of it
Fun times and good memories to last a life time,
All gathered during this year
During a very short time.

Dealing with new levels of patience,
Giving a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen.
Late night counselling sessions,
Some I will never forget!

Letters, emails, chats - some miles long-
All to keep the friendship or
Sometimes my sanity together,
All sweet and strong!

Best friends, clinging tighter
Holding and cherishing each moment spent together.
Hoping and praying that the bond will stay, forever.

Loving and being loved,
Giving and taking
Reaching a new level of understanding
A new experience, altogether.

This year has flown by, like no other
Instilling many wonderful memories,
Lessons worth lifetimes
And friendships to be kept forever.

Though hardships have been many
The joyous moments have outshone them all.
And in musical harmony
Close the curtains to this brilliant year!

Because of You

2008-11-27T12:30:00.001+05:30

Because of you I feel safe,
Yet you bring insecurity to me.
Because of you I feel the love,
Yet you manage to 'unlove' me.

Because of you I carry this weight around,
Feeling like my heart will explode.
With love, uncertainty, care and security,
Yet, you make me feel unworthy.

Because of you I have not a care in the world,
Yet, 'coz of that, I'm in danger.
I despise you for making me feel this way,
My heart is yet to realise you're unworthy of my feelings.

I Miss You

2008-11-27T12:28:00.000+05:30

Shining bright
The sun up above,
Days go by
Without any means....
Things to do,yet seems unimportant
Questions,
Millions, as they seem...
Wonder,
Where you are...
'Coz I miss you...

At Peace

2008-11-27T12:24:00.000+05:30

I'm at peace with myself
For having told you
What I feel.

I know of no regrets
As I feel lighter at heart.

I hope our friendship will not change.
That you wont look at me like I'm tainted.
Coz I value your friendship.

I will bare whatever changes
That may come,
With your attitude towards me.
I can't help that.

Yet again I say I know of no regrets
Coz I feel at peace with myself.

I know you're at shock,
But am sorry it wasn't intentional.
It just happened to be.

Finally I say I know of no regrets
As I can sleep in peace.
Without you i my dreams.

Yet, I want you to know,
I don't hate you or despise you.
I am still your ever loving friend,
As always.

Love you loads......

Note : After many sleepless nights in wanting a way to put my thought to words, today however i succeeded. I don't see it as the best of the works, but I guess I did some justice to myself. I just want to sy I feel free and I value your friendship still more, even after what happened.Thank you for everything!

Shadow

2008-09-20T14:34:00.001+05:30

I don't think of you much

But I know you are there,

Closer to me

More than anyone could be.

Thy walk is such grace

Sometimes I wish I were you.

Thy beauty is astonishing

That I forget, we are but one!

When seeking comfort

I almost forget you.

Thou art like me,

Coz thou art my shadow!

Better In Time

2008-09-20T14:33:00.000+05:30

Heart broken to a million pieces
You think you will never love again.
With a stroke of a paint brush
It all begins to change.

The gloomy days you thought will follow,
Happen to fade away.
And the bright light of many a loved one
Begins to show its face.

One heart has let you down,
And you think that is the end.
But when you feel the love of them all,
You know it all gets better in time.

Another Day

2008-09-20T14:31:00.000+05:30

The concern in her voice,
The helplessness in his,
The hurt and betrayal in another
Is what I came to see.

Anger in her voice
While I test her patience.
Making another scared,
While i cry out desperately.

I came to realise
All is not at end.
When looking around me
I will find the beginnings,
For another day!

*** I know I have not done justice to this poem in trying to express what I really want to and have to say. What I truly wanted to convey is that I'm grateful for all of you, who stood by me, during some very dark days, and helped bring the light back into my life. I'm eternally indebted for that!I also want all of you to know that your love and concern has touched me greatly and I truly hope that the light which is alive in m now will glow for many years to come.I want to say thank you and that I' truly touched by the love and that I'm lucky to have such supportive friends surrounding me!!

THANK YOU & LOVE YOU ALL!! ***

Testing My Patience

2008-08-01T17:17:00.001+05:30

What Am I to do when I am hurt??
Cuddle up, hug myself and cry so on one can see me,
Or tell those who hurt me , what I feel?

What am I to do when I see no hope?
Listen to those who say that everything will be alright
Or make my own decision?

What do I do when life is all messed up and I see no way out?
Do I try to sit and untangle it
Or just give up and move on?

Tell me what I should do
Or maybe not do.
Because my patience is tested and
I am running short of hope!

Expectations

2008-08-01T17:16:00.000+05:30

They expect me to lie
When am to tell the truth.
They expect me to know everything,
When I am still but young.
They expect me to be strong
and feeling less,
When in reality, I hurt a lot.
What do they want from me?
What do they expect me to be?
Obviously, something that am not!
Anything but me!

Realisation

2008-08-01T17:10:00.000+05:30

I see no reason
To go on, feeling what I feel.
There's no hope for the future,
At least, for a future together!

Though I know, however much I say,
I will always have these feelings with me.
Yet, having realized I see it is
Only what I want to see, not the truth!

I was hoping all this time,
Some may call it dreaming.
While in reality, it was never meant to be...
Finally I came to realize, the truth!

I wish I were Something

2008-05-24T18:00:00.001+05:30

I wish I were a rock
I wish I were a stone
I wish I were something
With feelings not.

I wish I were a tree
I wish I were a vine
I wish I were something
With feelings not.

I wish I were a bat
I wish I were butterfly
So I can be deaf and blind
To all that surrounds me.

I wish I were a bird
I wish I were a fish
I wish I were anything
But a human being!

Beneath It

2008-05-24T17:52:00.002+05:30

She smiles her 'sun shine smile'
Laughs till she is out of breath;
But beneath it, you can see the sadness.
She helps people,
Goes about her work;
But beneath it,
you can see she misses someone.
She cares for her friends,
Tries to make a difference;
But beneath it, she is longing for a kind word.
She maintains confidence,
Her head held high;
But beneath it, she seeks support.

Awed

2008-05-24T17:50:00.001+05:30

Though annoying he can be
There are times I simply treasure.
A day spent with him, Is in laughter.
Rest assured!
A little painting he has drawn,
"Akki" he calls out
Shows me his 'little effort'
And asks, "can i send this to you?"
I merely smiled and thought how idiotic.
But to see, he had taken time
To draw his thoughts
And kindly bestowed them to me!
I felt very proud I must say
To have my little brother
Gifting his treasure to me.....

Wish

2008-05-04T18:44:00.002+05:30

Wish could tell you
what you mean to me.
Wish could tell you
to solve all my life's confusion.
Wish could tell you
about everything.
Wish could tell you
to be with me.

Untitled

2008-05-04T18:18:00.000+05:30

Jump at the slightest things I use not to,
Only thus for a few months,
Came uneasiness of what I were not...
Patience of which once I were,
Left, left me alone.
Don't know why.
Gain it,
I'll have to,
But to cure me of .... save it!
It's hard in a place of new,
Make new of everyday things it is,
They know not how it feels,
Yet seem to, only pretend of it.
Why thus, should it be,
no more.
End, why not, all of this??
But let... let it be stronger,
It so at the golden thread,
Lined in red......
Not asking for more,
Even if wanted,
Not to pursue,
To become.
What??
Life's no more.
Yet no one knows.
Take it, it is of me,
Of what I want most.
Understand, most useful it is for me.
Don't. Don't go,
Please stay here with me....

Forgive Me

2008-05-04T18:03:00.000+05:30

This was the first time it happened between us
I'm sorry I caused you the pain
You were hurt real bad, that I saw
After which I didn't know what to do.

I never meant to hurt you as I did.
It was all unconsciously done
I am really sorry for what I said to you
So please forgive me, for what I said to you.

You cried long hours and never spoke
You were disturbed very much at your heart.
I ask forgiveness from you whole heartedly
For I'm sorry for what I said to you.

You were cold to me and it was icy between us.
I've never seen you all mad like this
Your forgiveness will silence me about this
And I'm sorry I'll never speak to you.

Myself

2008-05-04T17:57:00.000+05:30

I'm a lonely star, that shines alone
In this deep dark world
I live alone, all alone
I've no one here, only me for myself.

Something tells me that it is wrong here
There's nobody except for myself
It was lonely then, now i've fixed myself
Adjusted myself to what they want me to be.

There are many things that ought to be fixed
For I am only here for myself
People change but the never, never understand

I think out loud for me to hear
What I have got to tell myself
Then I know that I will never go wrong.

No one here, only me for myself.

Nothing

2008-05-04T17:43:00.000+05:30

There's nothing there to see
People around the world come to see
Life is like a circle, just as the earth can be
Nothing, there's nothing there to see.

Think of the merry old days
People come to have fun
Joy and energy flow through the sky,
The breeze that flows tonight.

Fun times are coming
That's why we are here
Enjoy every moment
Life is short, too short to see.

Come and go all seasons
With reasons for my hate
I don't know what it is that I hate
'Coz life is short, too short to see.

Untitled

2008-05-04T17:35:00.000+05:30

I am strong for I hold on,
I can be me for I breathe,
I can go to see the world,
Where I live in happiness.

Can it be that there is something going on,
For this world seems to be turning on
Th only life i see, is burning out
Then I see, there is life there for me.

There can be, no life to me
In this world where everything is free
I go on, to see the me
To try and find the lost life of me.

It's Up To You

2008-05-04T17:34:00.002+05:30

Come on now, what do you wish to do?
Sing a song and make it happen
There are many things, that you could do.
Come on living, come on living.

Start looking around, see the difference
Take a chance, and make a change
It's up to you, to enjoy yourself
Make a difference, take a chance.

Give us joy, make a change
Give us love, for you all the love
It's up to you, to enjoy yourself
Make a move, see the difference.

I Promise You

2008-05-04T17:34:00.001+05:30

I promise you, to be by your side.
I promise you, to be your friend.
I promise you, to hold your hand,
And never will I leave you alone.

When you walk, I'll be your shadow.
When you breath, I'll be the air.
And I always will follow you everywhere,
'Coz I promise you to be your friend.

You're not alone in this wide wide world,
'Coz I will always will be your friend.
And I promise you that you'll always
Know I'm by your side....

I Don't Know What It's Like

2008-05-04T17:32:00.000+05:30

I don't what it's like,
I don't what it's like.
But there's something in this life of mine.
I don't what it's like,
I don't what it's like.

But when there is something
I don't feel like
Wanting to know what it is
Because I don't know what it is like.

There's nothing in this life I know
'Coz it is too complicated
And my life all the time
Is something I don't know, what it is like

I don't what it's like
But there is something, in this life of mine.